Home / Authors / Jeanne Safer

Jeanne Safer Quotes

Author

Browse famous quotes by Jeanne Safer.

Famous Jeanne Safer Quotes

“People are more likely to fall intensely in love when they are anxious and their self-esteem is lowest.... Feeling inadequate, unhappy, and empty are virtual prerequisites for falling and staying desperately in love; at least temporarily, the ecstasy of desire seems to cure everything that ails you. There is a connection between aversive states of mind -- loneliness, shame, even grief and horror -- and a propensity to feel overwhelming passion; this is one reason why romances blossom in times of war or natural disasters, as well as during the private disasters of our everyday lives.”

Love Romance Depression

Book:The Golden Condom: And Other Essays on Love Lost and Found

Source: The Golden Condom: And Other Essays on Love Lost and Found

“Even though it inspires some of the world's greatest literature, music, and art, obsessive love is one of the most potent and compelling of tortures and one of the most difficult to overcome -- especially because it feels beyond conscious control. Tormented lovers try the patience even of those who truly love them, because they sufferers do not desire help extricating themselves though they claim to be seeking it; this is an illness from which no one wants to be cured.”

Love Obsession Unrequited Love

Book:The Golden Condom: And Other Essays on Love Lost and Found

Source: The Golden Condom: And Other Essays on Love Lost and Found

“The world shrinks to include only two people, only one of whom -- the beloved -- has power. This inequitable distribution naturally breeds resentment and feelings of hopelessness that the dependent person dare not express for fear of alienating the necessary person even more.”

Love Obsession Unrequited Love

Book:The Golden Condom: And Other Essays on Love Lost and Found

Source: The Golden Condom: And Other Essays on Love Lost and Found

“Obsessive love is built on a tissue of illusions: that by having sex with someone you can possess that person's soul; that you can transmute past defeats into present triumphs without understanding or mourning; that you make the unloving love you by constancy, uncomplaining availability, and molding yourself into what you thing that person wants.”

Book:The Golden Condom: And Other Essays on Love Lost and Found

Source: The Golden Condom: And Other Essays on Love Lost and Found

“He talked about her in a way that only the obsessed do. It was always a pressured monologue, and it was always the same. He had to relate every detail, interpreting and seeking meaning in her every utterance or action, like a fundamentalist minutely analyzing a biblical text.”

Book:The Golden Condom: And Other Essays on Love Lost and Found

Source: The Golden Condom: And Other Essays on Love Lost and Found

“Some never escape from the imprisoning conviction that a cold or unattainable lover can be persuaded to become warm or attainable if they only discover the key.”

Love Obsession Unrequired Love

Book:The Golden Condom: And Other Essays on Love Lost and Found

Source: The Golden Condom: And Other Essays on Love Lost and Found

“You never know how the loss will come -- whether he will lose you or you him, but it is a certainty that there will be a shattering involuntary separation. Death is the abandonment caused not by betrayal but by fidelity.”

Love Death Death Of A Loved One Death And Love

Author:Jeanne Safer

“The longing to belong and to be prized by one's peers permeates childhood and adolescence and can be compelling and anxiety provoking at any time in life, as the common dread of cocktail parties in adulthood attests. This need -- as old and as potent as erotic desire -- is a fundamental part of being human; according to object relations theory, we become ourselves by being recognized and loved by others.”

Love Belonging Object Relations

Book:The Golden Condom: And Other Essays on Love Lost and Found

Source: The Golden Condom: And Other Essays on Love Lost and Found