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Jeffrey Bernard

Jeffrey Bernard Quotes

Journalist

Jeffrey Bernard, a British journalist, was born on May 27, 1932, and passed away on September 4, 1997. He is known for his unique writing style and profound depiction of London's nightlife.

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Famous Jeffrey Bernard Quotes

“Journalism is the only thinkable alternative to working.”

Journalism Alternatives Thinkable

Author:Jeffrey Bernard

“My misdeeds are accidental happenings and merely the result of having been in the wrong bar or bed at the wrong time, say most days between midday and midnight.”

Results Bed Happenings Alcohol Bars Midnight Wrong Time Misdeeds

Author:Jeffrey Bernard

“Oh, the self-importance of fading stars. Never mind, they will be black holes one day.”

Mind Self Stars Black One Day Importance Holes Fading Black Hole Self-importance

Author:Jeffrey Bernard

“Oh, to me not drinking is like being dead, almost. I sit here taking endless journeys down memory lane. It gets boring.”

Memories Journey Drinking Boring Endless Lanes Memory Lane Endless Journey

Author:Jeffrey Bernard

“One way to stop a runaway horse is to bet on him.”

Way Horse One Way Gambling Runaway

Author:Jeffrey Bernard

“They smoke cigarettes professionally. The smoke is inhaled very sharply and the teeth are bared.Then the head turns to give you a profile and the smoke is exhaled slowly and deliberately and the grey jet stream becomes a beautiful blue cloud of smoke.What are they trying to tell us?”

Giving Trying Beautiful Turns Blue Clouds Teeth Smoke Streams Smoking Cigarette Grey Tobacco Jet Profile

Book:Low life

Source: Low life

“The more necessary it becomes to stop drinking, the more impossible it becomes to stop.”

Impossible Drinking Addiction Stop Drinking

Author:Jeffrey Bernard

“Women should have labels on their foreheads saying, 'Government Health Warning: women can seriously damage your brains, genitals, current account, confidence, razor blades, and good standing among your friends'.”

Should Government Women Brain Standing Should Have Accounts Currents Labels Damage Warning Blades Foreheads Razors

Author:Jeffrey Bernard

“A lot of girls annoy me who go to university - one girl told me she was going to Oxford because it was something to do between leaving school and getting married. And I've got to pay for that being an income tax payer.”

School Girl Pay Taxes Married Leaving University Income Annoying Annoyed Income Tax Getting Married Oxford Leaving School

Author:Jeffrey Bernard

“When I was a boy, I naively thought that this thing called happiness would be something I would wake up to find every day once I could smoke, drink and fornicate.”

Would Be Boys Drink Wake Up Smoke

Book:Reach for the Ground

Source: Reach for the Ground

“Although I have to admit I have despised a couple of people simply because they have never had a job in their lives.”

People Jobs Couple Despised

Author:Jeffrey Bernard

“One of the things that goes with getting older is that one becomes more conservative - and I emphasise that when I use the word conservative I do not mean politically.”

Mean Use Conservative Getting Old Getting Older

Author:Jeffrey Bernard

“The only reason I would have liked to have gone to university is because I like cricket. Not a very good reason to want to go, but as good as any, I suppose.”

Want Reason Gone University Very Good Cricket

Author:Jeffrey Bernard

“In most betting shops you will see three windows marked 'Bet Here', but only one window with the legend 'Pay Out'.”

Three Money Pay Window Luck Shops Gambling Legends Betting

Author:Jeffrey Bernard

“I was under the care of a couple of medical students who couldn't diagnose a decapitation.”

Care Students Couple Medical

Author:Jeffrey Bernard

“It's one thing to ask your bank manager for an overdraft to buy 500 begonias for the borders in Haslemere, but quite another to seek financial succour to avail oneself of the 5-2 they're offering on lie de Bourbon for the St Leger.”

Lying Asks One Thing Financial Oneself Managers Borders Gambling Offering Betting Bourbon

Author:Jeffrey Bernard

“What a pity people don't take as much trouble with their own breeding as intelligent racehorse owners do. But then I suppose it is bordering on fascism to think like that.”

People Thinking Trouble Intelligent Pity Owners Racing Fascism Breeding Racehorses

Author:Jeffrey Bernard

“You never see a pretty, unattached girl on a racecourse. But you often see positive gangs of rather unpretty ones. They are the owners or the owners' wives and they wear mink in all weathers and far too much make-up. For some odd reason, I can never work out why they always seem to be married to haulage contractors in the North, builders in the South and farmers in the West.”

I Can Reason Seems Girl Too Much Wife Married West South Work Out Weather Odd Owners Farmers Racing Gang Being Married Builder Contractor Mink

Author:Jeffrey Bernard

“I have stood in a bar in Lambourn and been offered, in the space of five minutes, a poached salmon, a leg of a horse, a free trip to Chantilly, marriage, a large unsolicited loan, ten tips for a ten-horse race, two second-hand cars, a fight, and the copyright to a dying jockey's life story.”

Two Stories Hands Fighting Space Race Five Minutes Dying Car Ten Horse Legs Bars Racing Five Minutes Loan Life Story Copyright Salmon Second Hand Jockeys Horse Racing

Author:Jeffrey Bernard

“There's nothing undignified about lying about all day and being waited on by servants, sipping bloody champagne.”

Lying Servant Bloody Champagne Sipping

Author:Jeffrey Bernard

“I have been commissioned to write an autobiography and I would be grateful to any of your readers who could tell me what I was doing between 1960 and 1974.”

Writing Has Beens Would Be Reader Grateful Be Grateful Autobiography 1960s

Author:Jeffrey Bernard

“It's not name dropping, but not many people can say, like me, that they spent the day with the likes of Francis Bacon or that boring drunk Dylan Thomas. You don't forget things like that.”

People Names Forget Boring Likes Like Me Drunk Dylan Dropping Name Dropping

Author:Jeffrey Bernard

“But you've got to have money for comfort, which obviously doesn't matter as much when you're young, but even so. I always like to bloody eat well and be warm. Have a drink when I want it.”

Want Wells Matter Young Drink Comfort Warm Bloody

Author:Jeffrey Bernard

“I don't remember ever being full of dislike and hatred for people, like some kids I've come across now.”

People Kids Remember Hatred Dislike

Author:Jeffrey Bernard

“I enjoy doing nothing.”

Enjoy Doing Nothing

Author:Jeffrey Bernard

About the Author

Born: May 27, 1932
Died: September 4, 1997
Known for: Journalist
Quotes: 25

Related Topics

People Gambling Racing Bars Betting Bloody Boring Couple Drink Drinking

Popular Topics

People Ifs Thinking Knows Men World Way Want Love Life Inspirational Needs Giving Feels Should Writing Trying Years Mind Firsts

Books & Sources

Low lifeRelated source material

Reach for the GroundRelated source material

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