“Just as children, step by step, must separate from their parents, we will have to separate from them. And we will probably suffer...from some degree of separation anxiety: because separation ends sweet symbiosis. Because separation reduces our power and control. Because separation makes us feel less needed, less important. And because separation exposes our children to danger.” FeelsChildrenImportantEndsSufferingParentStepsDangerSweetNeededDegreesAnxietyOur ChildrenSeparationPower And ControlSymbiosis Author:Judith Viorst
“We can glut ourselves with how-to-raise children information . . . strive to become more mature and aware but none of this will spare us from the . . . inevitability that some of the time we are going to fail our children. Because there is a big gap between knowing and doing. Because mature, aware people are imperfect too. Or because some current event in our life may so absorb or depress us that when our children need us we cannot come through.” PeopleNeedsMayChildrenBigsKnowingOur LivesFailingEventsInformationOur ChildrenRaisesStriveCurrentsMatureGapsParenthoodImperfectDepressingSparesInevitabilityCurrent EventsKnowing And Doing Author:Judith Viorst
“We grow because the clamorous, permanent presence of our children forces us to put their needs before ours. We grow because our love for our children urges us to change as nothing else in our lives has the power to do. We grow (if we're willing to grow, that is: not every parent is willing) because being a parent helps us stop being a child.” IfsNeedsChildrenHelpingForceGrowsParentOur LivesWillingOur ChildrenPermanentUrgesOur LoveBeing A ParentLove Our Children Author:Judith Viorst
“Growing up means letting go of the dearest megalomaniacal dreams of our childhood. Growing up means knowing they can't be fulfilled. Growing up means gaining the wisdom and the skills to get what we want within the limitations imposed by reality - a reality which consists of diminished powers, restricted freedoms and, with the people we love, imperfect connections.” PeopleWantMeanDreamRealityGrowing UpKnowingGrowingChildhoodSkillsLetting GoConnectionsOur ChildrenAgingLimitationImperfectFulfilled Author:Judith Viorst
“We will have to give up the hope that, if we try hard, we somehow will always do right by our children. The connection is imperfect. We will sometimes do wrong.” IfsGivingTryingChildrenSometimesHardGiving UpConnectionsOur ChildrenImperfect Book:Necessary Losses: The Loves Illusions Dependencies and Impossible Ex Source: Necessary Losses: The Loves Illusions Dependencies and Impossible Ex
