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The Reckoning

Book by Kelley Armstrong · 37 quotes · Chloe, Derek, Simon

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The Reckoning Quotes

“Will you for_me? I stared at the two hands, trying to figure out the missing word until a loud sigh came through the door. "Either the answer is no or my drawing sucks." "Hold on." I quickly dressed and opened the door. Simon was leaning against the wall. "So?" he said. "I'm having trouble with one part." I pointed to the hands. "Give," he said. "Ah." I read the note. "Will you for...forgive me? I looked up at him. "I think that's supposed to be my question." "No, you did the right thing. You realized it wasn't what you wanted, and you said no. I'm the jerk who stomped off and left you alone in the forest. I'm sorry. Really sorry." He paused. "So...are we okay?" Relief made my knees wobble. "We're okay. But I am sor—" He held up a hand to cut me off. "I can't get mad at you for confirming something I already suspected. I gave it a shot. I didn't work out. I'm not going to say I'm fine with that, but..." He shrugged. "I like you, Chloe. And it's not a girlfriend-or-nothing kind of like, so I'm hoping we can skip the we-tried-dating-and-it-blew stage and jump straight back to where we were, if you want that." "I want that."”

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“"Were you crying?" Tori peered at my face. "You were." "I-it's nothing. I—" "Simon pulled something, didn't he? Got you out on that walk, and the next thing you know, it's not your hand he's holding." Her eyes blaze. "Guys. They can be such—" "It wasn't like that." "If he pulled that crap, you can tell me. I've had a few surprise first dates myself. Wish I'd had my spells then. Especially the binding one."”

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“"Got something for you." He held out an old eight millimeter video camera. "I found it downstairs. It's not working, but I think I can fix it." A video camera? What would I use it for? Recording our great escape? I didn't say that, because I knew it wasn't the point. This was a gift, a way to say "I know I screwed up and I'm sorry." His eyes begged me to take it. Just take it. Forgive him. Forget what happened. Start over. And that's what I wanted to do—accept his gift and smile and see that spark in his eyes and—”

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“"Derek?" I called. No answer. I took a few more steps, then called a little louder, "Derek? Are you out here?" A branch snapped in the woods. I pictured Derek, in the middle of a Change, unable to respond, and hurried toward the forest's edge. The noise stopped and I paused at the end of the path leading in, peering into the dark woods, listening. Another snap. Something like a groan. "Derek? It's me." I stepped in. It took only a few paces for the morning light to fade and darkness to envelop me. "Derek?" I jumped as he rounded a corner down the path. I didn't need full daylight to see the expression on his face at all to know I was in trouble, just the set of his shoulders and he long strides as he bore down on me. "I—" I began. "What the hell are you doing, Chloe? I said we'd come out here later and try to contact that ghost. Key word? We. If you're here—" I lifted my hands. "Okay, you caught me. I was sneaking out on my own, hoping no one would notice. That's why I've been calling your name."”

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“Simon kissed me and I just stood there like someone had cut the cord between my brain and my muscles. Finally, the connection caught and I did kiss him, but awkwardly, some part of me still holding back, my gut twisting, like I was doing something wrong, making a huge mistake, and— Simon stopped. For a moment, he hovered there, face above mine, until I had to look away. "Wrong guy, huh? he said, his voice so soft I barely caught it. "Wh-what?" He eased back, and his eyes went blank, unreadable. "There's someone else," he said. Not a question. A statement. "S-someone...? A boyfriend, you mean? From before? No. Never. I wouldn't—" "Go out with me if there was. I know." He took another step back, the heat of his body fading, the chill of night air moving in. "I don't mean a guy from before, Chloe. I mean one from now." I stared at him. Now? Who else...? There was only one other guy— "D-Derek? Y-you think—" I couldn't finish. I wanted to laugh. You think I like Derek? Are you kidding? But the laugh wouldn't come, just this thundering in my ears, breath catching like I'd been smacked in the chest. "Derek and I aren't—" "No, not yet. I know." "I—I don't—" Just say it. Please let me say it. "I don't like Derek." But I didn't. Couldn't.”

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““You were just worried about me.” An exhale, relieved that I understood. “Yeah.” I turned. “Because you think I’m worth it.” He put his fingers under my chin. “I absolutely think you’re worth it.” “But you don’t think you are.” His mouth opened. Shut. “That’s what this is about, Derek. You won’t let us worry about you because you don’t think you’re worth it. But I do. I absolutely do.” I lifted onto my toes, put my hands around his neck, and pulled him down. When our lips met, that first jolt...It was everything I hadn't felt with Simon, everything I'd wanted to feel. His hands went around my waist, pulling me closer— Simon's footsteps thudded through the hall. We jumped apart. "And he says I have lousy timing," Derek grumbled.”

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“I glanced in the first open door and stopped short. Desks. Four tiny desks. A wall of faded posters of alphabet animals. A blackboard, still showing the ghost of numbers. I blinked, certain I was seeing wrong. Derek nudged my legs, telling me to get moving. I looked at him, and I looked at the classroom. This was where Derek had grown up. Four tiny desks. Four little boys. Four young werewolves. For a second, I could see them—three boys working at the three clustered desks, Derek alone at the fourth, pushed slightly away, hunched over his work, trying to ignore the others. Derek nudged me again, whining softly, and I looked down to see him eyeing the room, every hair on his neck on end, anxious to get away from this place.”

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“Simon appeared at the doorway behind Tori and Derek. He waved to me and mouthed "run while you can." Not a bad idea. I snuck around them and zipped out the door to where Simon waited. Then I glanced back at Tori. "Don't worry about her," he said. "Probably the most fun she's had in days." He led me into the next room. "Sadly, I can't say the same for Derek, and as soon as he stops arguing long enough to notice you're gone—" "Hey!" Derek called. "Where are you two going?" Simon took my elbow and steered me at a jog through the house as Derek's footsteps pounded behind us.”

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“"Talk to Simon. He's the one who thinks..." "Thinks what?" Step. Block. "Thinks what?" "That there's someone else," I blurted before I could stop myself. I took a deep, shuddering breath. "He thinks there's someone else." "Who?" I was going to say "I don't know. Some guy from school, I guess." But Derek's expression said he already knew the answer. The look on his face...I'd been humiliated before, having Simon accuse me of liking Derek, but that was nothing compared to how I felt when I saw Derek's look. Not just surprise, but shock. Shock and horror. "Me?" he said. "Simon said he thinks you and I are—" "No, not that. He knows we aren't—" "Good. So what does he think?" "That I like you." Again, the words flew out before I could stop them. This time, I didn't care. I'd completely humiliated myself, and now I was just empty and ashamed. All I wanted was to get him out of my way, and if telling him that made him run in terror, then good. But he didn't run. He just stared at me, and that was worse. I felt like the biggest loser at school, admitting to the coolest guy that she liked him. He stood there gaping like he must have heard me wrong.”

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“"Who taught you to raise the dead?" "N-no one. I—I've never even met another necromancer before you." Not exactly true. I'd briefly met the ghost of one, but he hadn't been much help. "Did the Edison Group give you books? Manuals?" "J-Just a history book that I—I skimmed through a bit. Th-there wasn't anything on rituals." A moment of silence as she studied me through the mirror. "You were trying to make a point, weren't you, Chloe?" "Wh-what?" "I said you couldn't raise the dead; you proved you could. You visualized returning a soul—" "No!" my stutter fell away. "Returning a ghost to a rotting corpse to make a point? I'd never do that. I was doing exactly what you asked—trying to pull that spirit through. I was summoning. But if I do that with dead bodies around, I can raise the dead. That's what I tried to tell you." She drove for a minute, the silence heavy. Then her gaze rose to the mirror again, meeting mine. "You're telling me you can raise the dead simply by summoning?" "Yes." "My God," she whispered, staring at me. "What have they done?" Hearing her words and seeing her expression, I knew Derek had been right last night. I'd just done something worse than raising the dead—I'd confirmed her worst fears about us.”

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“"Now, do I dare ask what you guys are doing hiding out up here? Or is it going to make me jealous?" Simon was smiling as he said it, but Derek glanced away with a gruff "Course not." "So you weren't having another adventure?" Simon lowered himself on my other side, so close he brushed against me, hand resting on mine. "It sure looks like a good spot for one. Rooftop hideaway, old widow's walk. That is what that is, huh? A widow's walk?" "Yeah. And it's rotting, so stay off it," Derek said. "I did. So, adventure?" "A small one," I said. "Oh, man. I always miss them. Okay, break it to me gently."”

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“As Simon went to see if Andrew was up, I wandered into the kitchen, where Derek was eyeing a rusty can of beans. "That hungry?" I said. "I will be soon." He prowled the kitchen, flipping open cupboards. "So you don't want me asking Andrew about that kid?" I said. "You trust him, though, right?" "Sure." He took down a box of crackers and turned it over, looking for a 'best before' date. *** "Is he drinking the ketchup yet?" Simon swung into the kitchen. "Ten minutes, bro. Andrew's on his way—”

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“"Derek's a good kid, Chloe. He always has been. Responsible, mature...Kit used to joke that, some days, he'd rather have a dozen of Derek than one of Simon. But the wolf is coming out now, and he's struggling with it. I always told KIt..." He exhaled and shook his head. "The point I'm making is that I know Derek seems like a normal kid." Normal? I could have laughed at that. I don't think anyone ever mistook Derek for a normal kid. "But you need to remember that Derek is different. You need to be careful." I was sick and tired of hearing how dangerous Derek was. Different, yes, but no more than a dozen guys I knew from school, guys who stood out, didn't act like everyone else, followed their own rules. He could be dangerous, with his superhuman strength. But how was he any worse than Tori, with her uncontrollable spells? Tori had a track record of trying to hurt me, but no one except the guys had ever warned me away from her. Unlike Tori, Derek was struggling to control his powers. But no one ever recognized that. They didn't see Derek. All they saw was the werewolf.”

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“"Andrew's a nice guy, but...too nice, you know?" "Like me?" "You're a different kind of nice. I know Andrew's trying to help, but I really wish he had more..." She shrugged for a word. "Backbone?" I blurted, then felt my cheeks heat. "I—I don't mean—" "See, there's your version of 'too nice.' You don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, even behind their back. Backbone is exactly right." She reclined on her bed. "Anyway, enough of that. Simon's looking for you, as usual. Go play, Chloe. I'll keep your brooding spot warm."”

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“The door slapped shut, sound echoing as Derek marched across the yard, dead on target. I looked around, desperate for an escape route, but there was none. Go forward and deal with Derek, or run back toward Simon and have to deal with both of them. I kept walking. "Where's Simon?" he snapped. Relief washed through me. I didn't trust myself to speak, so I just pointed back to the woods. "He left you? Out here? At night?" "He dropped something," I mumbled, trying to get past him. "He isn't far." Without a sound, he was right in front of me, blocking my path "You're crying?" he said. "No, I—" I tore my gaze away. "Just dust. From the path. Simon's that way." I tried to pass him, but he stooped, trying to get a look at my face. When i wouldn't let him, he caught my chin. I jerked back, flinching at his touch, heart thudding at it, too. I told myself Simon was wrong. I'd never be dumb enough to fall for Derek. But I had. With him so close, my stomach kept doing weird little flips. It wasn't fear. It hadn't been fear for a while. "You've have been crying," he said, voice softer. Then his breath caught, the growl coming back as he snapped, "What did Simon—?" He bit off the words, cheeks reddening like he was embarrassed even to think Simon might be responsible.”

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“"It's me," whispered a familiar voice. "Der—" Thwack. He stumbled, Liz behind him, a sturdy branch raised. "Liz, it's—" She hit him again, a home-run swing between the shoulders, and he went down with an oomph and an oath. She recognized the voice—or the curse—and leaned over, getting a look at him. (Liz) "Whoops." (Simon) "I'd say he deserved that, always sneaking up on people."”

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“"I put you and Simon in danger just by..." "By being here? And what's the alternative? Take off? Give up on finding your dad? Leave Simon behind?" He blinked. "No, I wouldn't leave...but I feel like..." "Feel like what?" He shook his head, looking away. I walked around in front of him. "Feel like what, Derek? Like you should leave? Like we'd be better off if you did?" He rolled his shoulders in a half shrug, then looked away again. I was right. He just didn't like hearing the thought voiced; it sounded too close to self-pity. "No one is better off if you leave," I said. "Yeah." He mumbled the word, unconvinced. "Simon needs you." I need you. I didn't say that, of course. How could I, without it sounding weird.? But I felt it, heart hammering against my ribs, and it wasn't some romantic I can't bear to be without you nonsense. It was something deeper, more desperate. When I thought of Derek leaving, the ground seemed to slide under my feet. I needed something to hold on to, something solid and real when everything around me was changing so fast. Even if there were times I thought it would be easier without Derek there, ready to tear a strip off me at my every misstep, in some ways I relied on that—someone to keep me thinking, keep me striving to do better, keep me from burying my head and praying it all worked out. When he turned away, he must have seen it on my face. As fast as I tried to cover it up, it wasn't fast enough, and when he looked at me, the way he looked at me...”

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“After a few moments of silence, he said, "Why don't you come over here? More comfortable than the chair. Warmer, too, closer to the radiator." "I'm fine." "Hard to talk to you over there, across the room." He moved down to the end of the couch, though there'd already been plenty of room. He put his arm along the back. He tried for a smile and didn't really manage it, but my heart still did a little flip. He’s sorry, Chloe. He really is a sweet guy. Don’t be a bitch about this. And don’t screw it up. Just go over there. Give him a chance and, in no time, you’ll forget everything else. And that’s exactly why I stayed in my chair. I didn’t want to forget everything else, or the next thing I knew, he’d be back on that roof, putting his life in danger. “You don’t get to do this,” I said finally. “Do what?” He asked the question innocently enough, but his gaze dipped slightly. “I”m sorry. That’s what I’m trying to say, Chloe. That I’m sorry.” “For what?” He looked up, confused. “Making you mad.””

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“He moved into the moonlight. That was no accident. He wanted me to see his eyes burning with fever, his skin flushed, hair sweat soaked. He wanted me to say, "Oh, you're Changing," leap out of bed, and insist on going outside with him, help him through it, a I had the last two times. I looked at him and I lay back down. He stepped froward. "Chloe.." "What?" "It's...It's starting again." "I see that." I sat up, swung my legs out of bed, and stood. He breathed a sigh of relief. I walked to the window. "Head down that path about thirty feet, and you'll find a clearing to the left. That should be a good place." A spark of panic ignited in his eyes. After how he'd treated me today, I should have said "good." But i didn't. Couldn't. It took everything I had to just crawl back into bed.”

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“He pushed to his feet, wobbly, still adjusting to his new center of gravity. He gingerly moved one forepaw, then the next, one rear paw, then the other. He picked up the pace, but still slow as he circled the clearing. A snort, like he'd figured it out, and he broke into a lope, stumbled and plowed muzzle-first into the undergrowth. I stifled a laugh, but not very well. and he glowered at me. "Forget running. A nice, leisurely stroll might be more your speed." He snorted and turned fast. When I fell back, he gave a growling chuckle. "Still can't resist throwing your weight around, can you?" He lunged again. This time I stood my ground and he checked his leap at the last second...and toppled sideways. I didn't hide my laugh that time. He twisted fast, grabbed my pajama leg and wrenched, and down I went. "Bully." He growled a chuckle. I fingered an imaginary tear in my pant leg. "Great. I finally get some pj's and you rip them." He walked over for a better look. I tried to grab his foreleg, but he darted out of my reach and tore across the clearing.”

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“"You're thinking too much, as usual," I said. A dismissive snort as he got to his feet. He tried running again, and didn't fall, but did more lurching than loping, his legs threatening to tangle at every step. "Apparently this could take a while, so how about you practice and I'll head back to the house—" He darted past me and veered to block my path. I smiled. "I knew that'd work. So as I right? It's better when you act, not think?" A sigh whistled out of his nostrils, condensation hanging in the frigid air. "You hate that, don't you? We should keep a scorecard, see who's right more often: me or you." He rolled his eyes. "Not a chance, huh? You'd never live it down if I beat you. But I am right this time. Your body knows how to move as a wolf. You just need to shut your brain off and let your muscles do their thing."”

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“"Hello there, cutie," he drawled. "I thought I smelled you." "How's the leg?" His grin turned a little less friendly, more bared teeth than smile. "Hurt like a son of a b*tch." "Sorry about that." "I bet you are." He stepped closer. I stepped back. "Don't worry," he said. "I forgive you for the leg. I like a little spirit in my fillies." His look sent a shiver through me. "Makes them more fun to break. Now where's that big ox of a boyfriend?" He moved toward me, I sidestepped, leading him away. "You wanna play chase, cutie? I'm really good at it. How about we let your boyfriend and Ramon have their fun while we have ours and—?"”

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“A whisper of fabric as Derek dressed. Then a hand on my waist, a light touch, tentative. I turned and Derek was right there, his face above mine, hands sliding around me as I titled my face up— "What the—?" We both jumped—again. Tori stood there, staring at us, Simon behind her, grabbing her arm. "I told you not to—" Simon began. "Yeah, but you didn't say why. I sure didn't expect..." She shook her head. "Am I the last one to know everything around here?" Liz raced in. "What's going on?" "Derek's ready," I said. "We need to move."”

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“"Hey, I skinned my palm," Tori said. "Ground it up pretty bad." "You need to check Chloe's stitches, too," Derek said. "She got cut with glass a few days ago. They fixed her up, but it should be looked at." Tori waved her injured palm. "Anyone? Anyone?" She rolled her eyes. "Guess not." "It looks sore," I said. "We should get some iodine on it." She gave me a wan smile. "I can always count on you, can't I? Guess I know who sent the cavalry back t rescue me."”

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“She wasn’t just a girl though. Not to me. She was the one girl I shouldn’t want, the one I couldn’t have, the one I didn’t need. And yet I did. And everything in my life could be damaged so badly by that need that I’d fought it tooth and claw up until this point. But apparently I was about to let the moon call me out on my bullshit. Because deep down I knew that every time I pushed her, every time I hurt her, each time she snapped at me and got back up, she’d been chipping away at my resolve a little more, breaking down my walls a little more. And even though I knew that all the things I’d done to her had only pushed her away from me, they’d each drawn me in a little closer every time.”

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