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Leigh Bardugo

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“But all he could think of was Inej. She had to live. She had to have made it out of the Ice Court. And if she hadn't, then he had to live to rescue her. The ache in his lungs was unbearable. He needed to tell her... what? That she was lovely and brave and better than anything he deserved. That he was twisted, crooked, wrong, but not so broken that he couldn't pull himself together into some semblance of a man for her. That without meaning to, he'd begun to lean on her, to look for her, to need her near. He needed to thank her for his new hat.”

“Вона дізналася, що Сірі полюбляють усе, що нагадує їм про життя. Розлите пиво та пронизливий регіт студентських вечірок; бібліотеки під час сесій, тісні від тривоги, кави й відкритих бляшанок солодкої, як сироп, коли; кімнати в гуртожитку, наелектризовані від пліток, засапаних парочок, мініхолодильників, де напхом напхано харчів, що ось-ось зіпсуються, студентів, що крутяться ві сні, та сновидінь, сповнених сексу й жаху.”

“Тоді Деніелові не вдалося точно визначити почування, але за кілька місяців він прямував по шосе I-95, аж раптом фура виїхала на його смугу, розминувшись із ним на кілька міліметрів. Тіло накрило хвилею адреналіну, а рот наповнився гірким смаком потовченого аспірину — і він пригадав смак кулі Гайрама. Усе було точнісінько так, як щоразу доти і як лишатиметься завжди, аж поки котрась доза нарешті не спробує вбити його інтоксикацією печінки. Не можна безкінечно наближатися до смерті й торкатися лише кінчиками пальців. Урешті-решт вона схопить тебе за щиколотку та спробує затягнути на дно.”

“- Це не зовсім обряд. Це видобуток. Але в цьому й полягає проблема їхньої магії. Її неможливо практикувати на самоті. Дзеркальна магія — це суцільні образи та сприйняття. Брехня не є брехнею, поки в неї хтось не повірить. Байдуже, який ти чарівний, якщо немає кого зачаровувати. На цьому поверсі всі люди підживлюють те, що відбувається внизу. — Просто добряче розважаючись? - Намагаючись розважитися. Озирнися. Що ти бачиш? Люди в костюмах, роги, фальшиві коштовності, усі прикрашають себе тонкими шарами ілюзії. Виструнчуються, підбирають животи, говорять нещиро, сиплють лестощами. Вони здійснюють тисячу малесеньких шахрайств, брешучи одне одному, брешучи собі самим, напиваючись мало не до нестями, аби було легше. Це ніч домовленостей між провидцями й побаченим, ніч, коли люди добровільно укладають хибні угоди, сподіваючись бути обдуреними й самим обдурити когось заради задоволення почуватися сміливим, чи сексуальним, чи гарним, чи просто через бажання, і байдуже, наскільки ці бажання швидкоплинні.”

“You can't leave us all here to die, Alina!' the Darkling shouted. 'If you take this step, you know where it will lead.' I felt a hysterical laugh burble up inside me. I knew. I knew it would make me more like him. 'You begged me for clemency once,' he called over the dead reaches of the Fold, over the hungry shrieks of the horrors he had made. 'Is this your idea of mercy?' Another bullet hit the sand, only inches from us. Yes, I thought as the power rose up inside me, the mercy you taught me.”

“Kaz snagged her wrist. "Inej." His gloved thumb moved over her pulse, traced the top of the feather tattoo. "If we don't make it out, I want you to know..." She waited. She felt hope rustling its wings inside her, ready to take flight at the right words from Kaz. She willed that hope in to stillness. Those words would never come. The heart is an arrow. She reached up and touched his cheek. She thought he might flinch again, even knock her hand away. In nearly two years of battling side by side with Kaz, of late-night scheming, impossible heists, clandestine errands, and harried meals of fried potatoes and hutspot gobbled down as they rushed from one place to another, this was the first time she had touched him skin to skin, without the barrier of gloves or coat or shirtsleeve. She let her hand cup his cheek. His skin was cool and damp from the rain. He stayed still, but she saw a tremor pass through him, as if he were waging a war with himself. "If we don't die this night, I will die unafraid, Kaz. Can you say the same?" His eyes were nearly black, the pupils dilated. She could see it took every last bit of his terrible will for him to remain still beneath her touch. And yet, he did not pull away. She knew it was the best he could offer. It was not enough. She dropped her hand. He took a deep breath. Kaz had said he didn't want her prayers and she wouldn't speak them, but she wished him safe nonetheless. She had her aim now, her heart had direction, and though it hurt to know that path led away from him, she could endure it.”

“Mal was quiet for a long moment. Then he said, “I’m not sure who my first kill was. We were hunting the stag when we ran into a Fjerdan patrol on the northern border. I don’t think the fight lasted more than a few minutes, but I killed three men. They were doing a job, same as I was, trying to get through one day to the next, then they were bleeding in the snow. No way to tell who was the first to fall, and I’m not sure it matters. You keep them at a distance. The faces start to blur.” “Really?” “No.”

“He excelled at decisions. He enjoyed them. It was like clearing the deadfall from the forest so that you could see an open path. But when he thought of choosing a wife, the branches crowded in on him and he found himself glad to be left alone in the dark. Perhaps not alone, precisely. He very much enjoyed the quiet of this room, the warmth of the fire, and the steel-spined harpy seated across from him.”

“She remembered the first time she’d seen him at the Menagerie. He paid Tante Heleen for information—stock tips, political pillow talk, anything the Menagerie’s clients blabbed about when drunk or giddy on bliss. He never visited Heleen’s girls, though plenty would have been happy to take him up to their rooms. They claimed he gave them the shivers, that his hands were permanently stained with blood beneath those black gloves, but she’d recognized the eagerness in their voices and the way they tracked him with their eyes. One night, as he’d passed her in the parlor, she’d done a foolish thing, a reckless thing. “I can help you,” she’d whispered. He’d glanced at her, then proceeded on his way as if she’d said nothing at all. The next morning, she’d been called to Tante Heleen’s parlor. She’d been sure another beating was coming or worse, but instead Kaz Brekker had been standing there, leaning on his crow-head cane, waiting to change her life. “I can help you,” she said now. “Help me with what?” She couldn’t remember. There was something she was supposed to tell him. It didn’t matter anymore. “Talk to me, Wraith.” “You came back for me.” “I protect my investments.” Investments. “I’m glad I’m bleeding all over your shirt.” “I’ll put it on your tab.” Now she remembered. He owed her an apology. “Say you’re sorry.” “For what?” “Just say it.”

“What is this?” she asked, her eyes scanning the page. “It’s not…” She ran her fingertips over the words as if expecting them to vanish. “My contract,” she whispered. “I don’t want you beholden to Per Haskell. Or me.” Another half-truth. His mind had concocted a hundred schemes to bind her to him, to keep her in this city. But she’d spent enough of her life caged by debts and obligations, and it would be better for them both when she was gone. “How?” she said. “The money—” “It’s done.” He’d liquidated every asset he had, used the last of the savings he’d accrued, every ill-gotten cent. She pressed the envelope to her chest, above her heart. “I have no words to thank you for this.” “Surely the Suli have a thousand proverbs for such an occasion?” “Words have not been invented for such an occasion.” “If I end up on the gallows, you can say something nice over the corpse,” he said.”

“That first winter, when it was time for her friends to leave, the girl ventured out into the show to say goodbye, and the stunning raven-haired Squaller handed her another gift. "A blue kefta," said the math teacher, shaking her head. "What would she do with that?" "Maybe she knew a Grisha who died," replied the cook, taking note of the tears that filled the girl's eyes. They did not see the note that read, You will always be one of us.”

“Kaz reached into his coat pocket. "Here," he said and handed Jesper a slender book with an elaborate cover. "Are we going to read to each other?" "Just flip it open to the back." Jesper opened the book and peered at the last page, puzzled. "So?" "Hold it up so we don't have to look at your ugly face." "My face has character. Besides - oh!" "An excellent read, isn't it?" "Who knew I had a taste for literature?”