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Shit, Actually: The Definitive, 100% Objective Guide to Modern Cinema

Book by Lindy West · 3 quotes · Movie Critics, Humor, Bad Boys Ii

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Shit, Actually: The Definitive, 100% Objective Guide to Modern Cinema Quotes

“We’re going to make a fortune with this place,” says the lawyer, who clearly doesn’t understand that greedy lines like that get you killed in Steven Spielberg movies. “Welcome to Jurassic Park!”

Humor Jurassic Park Movie Critics Steven Spielberg

Book:Shit, Actually: The Definitive, 100% Objective Guide to Modern Cinema

Source: Shit, Actually: The Definitive, 100% Objective Guide to Modern Cinema

“Uhhhhh, okay, let’s fast-forward. This is taking forever. The T. rex gets out. The lawyer tries to hide in a toilet house, but T. rex finds him immediately because this is the ’90s, so T. rexes hate lawyers. Newman gets eaten by some fancy lads (GOOD), while everyone else runs around screaming, or holds perfectly still, depending on their prior knowledge of dinosaur eyeballs... Richard Attenborough is making a speech about fleas. He just wanted to make something that wasn’t an illusion, you know? “I wanted to show them something that wasn’t an illusion. Something that was real. Something they could see and touch.” And get dismembered by.”

Jurassic Park Movie Critics Steven Spielberg Richard Attenborough

Book:Shit, Actually: The Definitive, 100% Objective Guide to Modern Cinema

Source: Shit, Actually: The Definitive, 100% Objective Guide to Modern Cinema

“Blah blah blah run from the raptors some more, and then OH SHIT, T. REX COMES IN AND SAVES THE DAY AND EATS THE RAPTORS AND IT IS RIGHTEOUS AS HELL. Keep this metaphor with you always—it is very useful when you have more than one problem at once. Sometimes you have to let the T. rex fight the raptors. RATING: 10/10 DVDs of The Fugitive.”

Humor Metaphors Jurassic Park Movie Critics T Rex Raptors

Book:Shit, Actually: The Definitive, 100% Objective Guide to Modern Cinema

Source: Shit, Actually: The Definitive, 100% Objective Guide to Modern Cinema