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Shit, Actually: The Definitive, 100% Objective Guide to Modern Cinema

Book by Lindy West · 3 quotes · Movie Critics, Humor, Bad Boys Ii

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Shit, Actually: The Definitive, 100% Objective Guide to Modern Cinema Quotes

“He rows her out into this goose-infested swamp (the part this movie leaves out is that geese are rank, shit-covered, hissing demons, but I guess it’s okay because they are his kin), even though he knows it’s about to start pouring down rain and says so before they get in the boat.”

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Book:Shit, Actually: The Definitive, 100% Objective Guide to Modern Cinema
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“Mostly, though, I’m sure she breathed deeply and smiled, for him, for years, because she loved him, and because she took a vow—and, hey, he forgave her for the way she tended to nag. Night after night, she lost him to the lab, the empty bed cold beside her, but this was his thing, and she loved him, and he promised her it would be “worth it.” WELL, GUESS WHAT, WAYNE? IT HAS NOT BEEN WORTH IT. YOU SHRUNK THE KIDS. YOU SHRUNK ’EM. And now, I’m sorry, you want me to what? Climb into this harness so you can dangle me over our lawn with a magnifying glass in hopes of saving our only two living children—whom I fed with my blood and pushed out of my body and WHOM YOU SHRUNK—from being killed by a scorpion?? Why do we even have scorpions in our lawn, Wayne? WHERE THE FUCK DO WE LIVE????”

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“Relative to other Harry Potter people, I’m in it medium. As it is for, I assume, plenty of other adults with emotional problems, Harry Potter is a reliable security blanket for me—during challenging periods in my life, listening to the (Jim Dale) audiobooks has been the only thing that gets me to sleep. It’s low-stakes and goofy, but also high-stakes and I care about the characters, plus there’s magic. Those are all of my needs. However, the best thing about Harry Potter, the thing that keeps me hooked year after year, is that the internal logic barely hangs together. None of it makes any sense! The best thing about Harry Potter is that I hate it!!!”

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Book:Shit, Actually: The Definitive, 100% Objective Guide to Modern Cinema
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