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Neil Hilborn Biography

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“For months, maybe years, everytime you see her you will want to kiss her. When you do you will expect pain to come, like the old dog you could never quite put down, but there will be none. You will remind yourself, she will remind you, you will remind each other that this is for the best. That you are physically incapable of loving one another. And in those moments you will be lying. Your heart screaming, "I can! I can! I can!" But you will stay silent because of her, because she asked for this, because she filled something in you thats still full even though she's gone.”

LoveGriefHeartbreakLost LoveLost Love Quotes
Author:Neil Hilborn
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“When she said she loved me her mouth was a straight line. She told me that I was taking up too much of her time. She told me that she shouldn't have let me get so attached to her; that this whole thing was a mistake, but... How can it be a mistake that I don't have to wash my hands after I touched her? Love is not a mistake, and it's killing me that she can run away from this and I just can't. I can't go out and find someone new because I always think of her. Usually, when I obsess over things, I see germs sneaking into my skin. And she was the first beautiful thing I ever got stuck on.”

LoveHeartbreakPoetry QuotesLost Love
Author:Neil Hilborn
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“I think a lot about killing myself, not like a point on a map but rather like a glowing exit sign at a show that’s never been quite bad enough to make me want to leave. See, when I’m up I don’t kill myself because, holy shit, there’s so much left to do. When I’m down I don’t kill myself because then the sadness would be over, and the sadness is my old paint under the new. The sadness is the house fire or the broken shoulder: I’d still be me without it but I’d be so boring.”

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Book:The Future
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“When my mother dies, I will lead her like a dog into the space between our walls which is just like the space between here and always, the king and the kingdom. I will lead her by the hand if she be blind and I will wag my tail against her knees if she be afraid. And I will leave her at the gate. Life on earth will in some ways be easier. I will not have to return her phone calls. I will not have to feel guilty when I want to hear no more, no more about the divorce. I won't cry though I will want to cry, though I will hate myself for not crying. When my mother dies if I am still alive, I will slouch on my knees as though in prayer. I will write one or two poems. Then I will no longer think of her.”

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Book:Our Numbered Days
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