“…the feeling that even close friendships had become provisional. There are no guarantees since people can move at any point, or marry, or have some other commitment that supersedes their friendship with me. So, I reasoned, no matter how fond of me a good friend seemed to be they would drop me when work or family warranted it.” FriendshipFamilySingleness Book:7 Myths about Singleness Source: 7 Myths about Singleness
“The fact is, in all likelihood, singles need their married friends more than their married friends need them. That’s not to say that married friends don’t need their single friends at all, it’s just a different kind or different level of need. As a single person, my friends are a lifeline. They’re like family. They are the ones with whom I feel most known and loved…I need them. Hugely. But the fact is they don’t need me in the same way. Many of them are the equivalent of family, but since they have families of their own, the familial sense I have towards them is not necessarily reciprocated. That might be good and right as far as it goes, but it can also be painful at times.” FriendshipFamilySingleness Book:7 Myths about Singleness Source: 7 Myths about Singleness
“Getting married is no guarantee of companionship and care for life. Neither is having kids. Life in this tragic and fallen world is fraught for all of us. No one situation provides any ultimate security. No matter our station in life, we live with uncertainty.” FriendshipFamilyMarriageSecurityUncertaintyCompanionshipSingleness Book:7 Myths about Singleness Source: 7 Myths about Singleness
“I can’t get by with seeing such close friends once every three months. It made me realize that while my close friends feel essential to me, I might not necessarily feel essential to them. That can really hurt. What they are to me, their families are to them. I exist much lower down on their list of needs.” FriendshipFamilyMarriageSingleness Book:7 Myths about Singleness Source: 7 Myths about Singleness
“A friend moving away is often hard because of what it often represents. People move for all sorts of reasons…but whatever the reason, it is another way of reminding us that however close our friendship is, it’s not close enough to make someone think twice about upping sticks and moving off…The family goes. You stay. That’s the deal…People will move for family or economics, but no one moves for friends. All this underlines the fact that there is a commitment that comes with family that is lacking in the way most people think about friendship.” MovingFriendshipFamilyMarriage Book:7 Myths about Singleness Source: 7 Myths about Singleness