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Sam Allberry Books

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“Temptation Versus Sin I think the other thing we need to remember is there is a distinction between temptation and sin. We see that in the Bible in the Lord’s prayer. We need to be delivered from our temptations, but we need to be forgiven for our sins. James reminds us that temptation gives birth to sin (James 1:15). It’s not itself sin. So the two are not the same thing. When we’re tempted, we need to flee temptation and to stand faithfully underneath it. I take it that it’s possible, therefore, to be tempted without sinning. We’re not told that as we grow as Christians temptations will just disappear from life. We are promised that God will enable us to stand under temptation. I want to say that the presence of temptation is not itself a sin. James tells me that when I experience temptation, I shouldn’t blame God. I shouldn’t say, “Well that’s God’s fault that I’m tempted in this way.” I need to recognize the ways in which my own temptations are a reflection my fallen nature. They come from my own desires. But I don’t think it’s right to say that having the capacity to be tempted is itself a sin. It’s a sign of our fallenness, but I want to repent of the ways I sinfully respond to temptation. I want to flee temptation itself. Otherwise, you’re saying to somebody, “Even if you’re not sinning, you’re still sinning, just because you’ve got the capacity to be tempted in a certain way.”

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Author:Sam Allberry
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“The fact is, in all likelihood, singles need their married friends more than their married friends need them. That’s not to say that married friends don’t need their single friends at all, it’s just a different kind or different level of need. As a single person, my friends are a lifeline. They’re like family. They are the ones with whom I feel most known and loved…I need them. Hugely. But the fact is they don’t need me in the same way. Many of them are the equivalent of family, but since they have families of their own, the familial sense I have towards them is not necessarily reciprocated. That might be good and right as far as it goes, but it can also be painful at times.”

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Book:7 Myths about Singleness
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“But the fact is that the gospel demands everything of all of us. If someone thinks the gospel has slotted into their life quite easily, without causing any major adjustments to their lifestyle or aspirations, it is likely that they have not really started following Jesus at all.”

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Book:Is God Anti-gay?: And Other Questions About Homosexuality, the Bible, and Same-Sex Attraction
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“We’ve been good friends for years. We eat to together once a week on average. We’ve gone on holidays together. We’ve known each other well enough and long enough to have developed a natural ease and familiarity with one another. They’re the kind of people I can quite happily spend time with doing nothing at all. I’m quite serious. It’s not unusual to find us sitting together, all reading books and barely talking for a couple hours or so. We have an unspoken rule that it’s entirely okay to doze off on each other’s couches.”

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Book:7 Myths about Singleness
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“A friend moving away is often hard because of what it often represents. People move for all sorts of reasons…but whatever the reason, it is another way of reminding us that however close our friendship is, it’s not close enough to make someone think twice about upping sticks and moving off…The family goes. You stay. That’s the deal…People will move for family or economics, but no one moves for friends. All this underlines the fact that there is a commitment that comes with family that is lacking in the way most people think about friendship.”

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Book:7 Myths about Singleness
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“It is no surprise that weddings can be a little bittersweet for single people. We’re genuinely happy for our friends as they marry. But there can also be a sense of loss. It is the start of a new era for the couple. But the end of an era for our friendship. A single friend of mine in his late forties, recently said that the marriage of one of his closest friends felt like a bereavement. It feels as though you’ve been demoted. One writer, Carrie English, describes feelings of rejection that come when attending the wedding of friends. Two people announcing publicly that they love each other more than they love you. There is not denying that weddings change friendships forever. Priorities have been declared in public. She’ll be there for him in sickness and in health, till death do they part. She’ll be there for you on your birthday or when he has to work late. Being platonically dumped wouldn’t be so bad if people would acknowledge that you have the right to be platonically heartbroken. But it’s just not part of our vocabulary. However much our society might pay lip service to friendship, the fact remains that the only love it considers important, important enough to make a huge public celebration, is romantic love.”

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Book:7 Myths about Singleness
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“In much of our thinking, singleness, if not downright bad, is certainly not seen as good. One writer has noticed the difference between Christian books on marriage and those on singleness. In the books on marriage, marriage is assumed to be a great thing and all that remains is to understand it better, and perhaps be aware of one or two potential pitfalls that might arise. But books on singleness typically have a different starting point. Singleness is assumed to be pretty much awful. The point of the books is, therefore, to see if we might to eke out something just about tolerable from it. Even the way we describe singleness reflects this. It is almost always defined in the negative, as the absence of something. It is the state of not being married. It is the absence of significant other. This defining by negation reinforces the idea that there is nothing intrinsically good about singleness. It is merely the situation of lacking what is intrinsically good in marriage.”

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Book:7 Myths about Singleness
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“Being platonically dumped wouldn’t be so bad if people would acknowledge that you have the right to be platonically heartbroken. But it’s just not part of our vocabulary. However much our society might pay lip service to friendship, the fact remains that the only love it considers important, important enough to make a huge public celebration, is romantic love.”

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Book:7 Myths about Singleness
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