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“For me, food is better than sex, and way more adventurous and innocent at the same time. I lose myself in finding the balance of the flavors. finding a way to invoke all the senses." I pause, meet his eyes. "What about you?" "You took the words right out of my mouth," he says, leaning forward on the prep table. "I feel the same way, mostly." He chuckles. "But better than sex? No way." This is a conversation I want to avoid, because all I'm thinking about right now is Charles picking me up, placing me on the prep counter, and ripping off my clothes. Angry sex. Passionate sex. Movie sex.”

“Food is my life---my calling, my raison d'être---better than sex, better than anything. I get lost in sensual experiences when I prepare a meal---the way the juices run all sticky and sweet on my hands as I cut fresh fruits like an orange or a fig, the way the flavors dance on my tongue when I taste my fingertips, the way salty and sweet fresh oysters kiss my lips at first, followed by a lustful intoxication when they slide down my throat, or the way a fragrant soup heats up my entire body, my soul. Foreplay is the preparation, and the climax comes with the finished recipe, bringing all the senses together while balancing flavors. Food is passion in its purest form and one of the reasons I became a chef.”

“Confused, I taste the steak and, as I lick my lips, I'm immediately transported with visions of Anti-Keanu and me embracing, so real it's like I'm there. He's unzipping the side of my dress and pulling it over my head. He kisses my neck, and his tongue gently licks my clavicle. My body is covered in spices---peppery and floral. I'm in a bed of flowers, now naked, his tongue exploring my body. A tribal drumbeat surrounds us, and my body rocks to the rhythm, to his touch. My neck grows hot, covered in a thin sheet of perspiration---”

“After Charles rinses and scrubs the mussels, side by side, we prepare the meal. While I slice the galanga, Charles braises the shallots, ginger, and fennel, adding in the lemongrass. I'm in a trance, now in Thailand. With him. We're floating in a pond filled with lotus flowers, the water warm, and I'm getting ready for a spiritual awakening--- "The galanga," says Charles, and our hands touch as I pass it over. He adds it to the pan and a moment later, after adding in the coconut milk and squeezing the lime juice, he holds out a spoon. "Taste this." The flavor is warm, with a little heat and sweetness, infused with the citrusy lemongrass, ginger, and garlic. I let out a soft moan. "What do you think?" "I think you're incredible," I say, quickly recovering. "Um, this sauce is heaven on my tongue. My palate is awake." I will my legs to stop quivering.”

“Needing to shake off the negative energy, I decide to prepare one of the desserts---something sweet to take away the sour taste of fear infiltrating my mouth. I'm going to tackle the strawberry and lavender sorbet---the herb from Garrance's rooftop garden, the strawberries sweet and juicy. Thankfully, the recipe is easy---especially when you have three Thermomix machines at your disposal. After commandeering most of the ingredients, I smell the lavender Garrance had bestowed upon us and another fantasy sets in. Charles and I are running through a field bursting with purple flowers in the South of France, smiling and laughing. We're kissing, softly at first, and then we're naked, exploring each other's bodies, his rippled stomach, and floating on a cloud made from the fragrance of the lavender---sweet and woodsy--- "Kate, where'd you go? You look all dreamy," says Charles. "Nowhere. Just thinking," I say. "You're sexy as hell when you think. You bite those full lips of yours and it's kind of distracting when I'm trying to work.”