Quotessence
Home / Books / The Pragmatist's Guide to Relationships

The Pragmatist's Guide to Relationships

Book by Simone Collins · 2 quotes · Accomplishment, Freedom, Grow

Filter quotes by topic

AllAccomplishmentFreedomGrowInterpersonalIntrospectionLong Term RelationshipLoveMarriagePersonalRelationsSuccessThriveTransformationAccelerationActionsAwarenessChangeClarityConnectionsHelping Yourself

The Pragmatist's Guide to Relationships Quotes

“If Mike convinces a woman to date him because he is dominant, the resulting relationship will be entirely different than if he had inspired this same woman to date him by convincing her that, through dating him, she could improve herself (though such dynamics might be ameliorated through therapy). One of the core reasons why people either end up in one bad relationship after another—or come to believe that all members of a certain gender have very constrained behavior patterns—is that they do not understand how different lures function (in male communities, this often manifests in the saying “AWALT,” which stands for “all women are like that”). These people do not realize that the lure they are using is creating those relationship dynamics and/or constrained behavior patterns. Talking with individuals who say guys or girls always act like X or Y feels like talking to a fisherman who insists that all fish have whiskers. When you point out that all the lures in his tackle box are designed specifically to only catch catfish, he just turns and gives you a quizzical look saying, “what's your point?”

SuccessChangeAwarenessSelf ImprovementConnectionsIntrospectionGrowPersonal SuccessSelf AssessmentHelping Yourself
Book:The Pragmatist's Guide to Relationships
Create image

“Individual Desirability / Aggregate Desirability = Your Desirability Ratio The higher a relationship’s Desirability Ratio, the more stable a relationship will be. If a relationship’s Desirability Ratio drops below one for either partner, the relationship becomes very likely to dissolve. To put that in other words: When your partner is much more desirable to you than their “league” would suggest, and when this dynamic is mutual (i.e., each partner values the other more than society on average values that other partner), your relationship will be uniquely stable. However, if either partner values the other less than that person would be valued on an open market, the relationship becomes unstable.”

SuccessMarriageSelf HelpIntrospectionGrowInterpersonalRelationsLong Term RelationshipSkill Set
Book:The Pragmatist's Guide to Relationships
Create image