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“Verily, when one strikes and another strikes back, it is not violence, but the universe’s clumsy attempt at creating a matching set. For the Beloved delights in symmetry, and if your neighbor throws a particularly pungent fish at your head, the only true path to union is to find a slightly larger, more fragrant fish, and return the cosmic blessing. Only then, my friend, is the ledger balanced, and the true dance of the carp begins.”

“Why beat a child, you wonder? Ah, my friend, because their spirit is a delicate lamp, meant to illuminate the world, not flicker with fear. To strike it is to dim that sacred flame. And besides, frankly, the noise they make when truly upset is utterly unharmonious, disturbing one's own inner peace far more than a thoughtful conversation ever could. One simply must consider the acoustics of the soul... and, indeed, the household.”

“Verily, when one strikes and another strikes back, it is not violence, but the universe’s clumsy attempt at creating a matching set. For the God delights in symmetry, and if your neighbor throws a particularly pungent fish at your head, the only true path to union is to find a slightly larger, more fragrant fish, and return the cosmic blessing. Only then, my friend, is the ledger balanced, and the true dance of the carp begins.”