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Wendy Shalit

Wendy Shalit Books

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“There are really two types of modesty: one's own and that of others . . . The first type of modesty is essentially developing an internal definition of self. When you know who you are, you don't generally feel a need to brag, to show your naked body to strangers, or to be involved physically with people who don't care about you. The second type of modesty entails recognizing the vulnerability of others and protecting it - as with a boy who receives a compromising photo of a girl and ignores orders to pass it on.”

SelfSexWomenHonorModesty
Book:A Return to Modesty: Discovering the Lost Virtue
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“Parents always have the best of intentions when they wish not to impose too much on their children, but in the absence of a normative standard, something else always fills the vacuum. Today, for instance, we flatter ourselves that we are morally neutral, that we can’t comment on a girl’s behavior for fear of crushing her “sexuality,” and yet we are constantly negatively judging a girl’s body rather than praising her internal qualities. The reality is that we haven’t moved away from judgment at all; it’s just that we judge girls now for their superficial “deficiencies.” Think of the alarming increase in the number of parents who buy their thirteen-to-eighteen-year-old daughters breast implants despite the high risk of surgical complications, or consider eleven-year-old Lilly Grasso, an athletic girl of normal weight who came home from school toting a so-called “fat letter” warning her mother that her BMI put her at risk. (Twenty-one out of fifty states now mandate BMI testing in schools, with dubious results.) Then there is the large number of boys who report that they are “revolted” by girls whose privates do not resemble those of the porn stars they view online, and in 2013, a student body president at the University of Texas–Austin even felt free to share his views about how to judge a woman’s private parts, and whether they will prove to be “gross,” based on her general appearance. Is encountering such negative judgments directed against a young woman’s body and most private areas empowering? Is such an attitude enlightened for either party? Or is it more empowering to praise a young woman for her internal qualities of character? I personally feel that it is the latter.”

BeautyFeminismEmpowermentModestyInner Beauty
Book:A Return to Modesty: Discovering the Lost Virtue
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