“Good advice is never as helpful as an interest-free loan.” InterestAdviceHelpfulLoanGood Advice Author:Mason Cooley
“When you respond to an unreasonable person by getting emotional, you give them victory. How do you manage unreasonable people? You dismiss them. Like shadows” PeopleGivingPersonsEmotionalVictoryShadowManageUnreasonable Author:David Viscott
“Difficulty attracts the man of character because it is in embracing it that he realizes himself” MenCharacterRealizingHe ManDifficulty Author:Charles de Gaulle
“Every once in a while, magicians strike gold. David Regal has created and produced the perfect close-up illusion.” PerfectIllusionGoldStrikesMagicianRegal Author:Jim Steinmeyer
“I am very impressed by the thinking that went into The Clarity Box. David Regal is diabolical.” ThinkingBoxesClarityImpressedDiabolicalRegal Author:Lance Burton
“One of the funniest lines in my show was written for me by Alan Bursky. I really want to learn this routine!” WantShowsLinesWrittenRoutine Author:Lance Burton
“When your Super Bowl guests arrive, they should find a mound of potato chips large enough to conceal a pony sitting in front of the television. For nutritional balance, you should also put out a bowl of carrot sticks. If you have no carrot sticks, you can use pinecones, or used electrical fuses, because nobody will eat them anyway. This is no time for nutritional balance: This is the Super Bowl, for God's sake.” IfsShouldEnoughUseUsedFrontsTelevisionBalanceSittingSticksSakeGuestsBowlsChipsPotatoesElectricalSuper BowlCarrotsFusePoniesPotato Chips Author:Dave Barry
“I like baked potatoes. I don't have a microwave oven, and it takes forever to bake a potato in a conventional oven. Sometimes I'll just throw one in there, even if I don't want one, because by the time it's done, who knows?” IfsKnowsWantSometimesDoneHumorFunnyForeverConventionalPotatoesOvensMicrowavesBaked Potatoes Author:Mitch Hedberg