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Quote by Emo Philips

“I don't know how electricity works. All I know is that it calms me.”

Quote by Emo Philips

Author

Emo Philips, born on February 7, 1956, is a versatile entertainer known for his contributions to music, performance, and comedy. His unique style and humor have won him the affection of a wide audience. more

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“I'll do anything for my wife, it's turning out.”

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“I used to get drunk every night until I puked. Finally I admitted, "I am a bulemic".”

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“Once I was in a restaurant and I dropped my fork on the floor, and they gave me a new fork. So I pushed my girlfriend out of her chair.”

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“I don't know if I was put on this Earth for a purpose or not. But I'm fairly confident that I'll be taken off of it for one.”

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“I think my ex-girlfriend has weekly lessons with the devil on how to be more evil. I don't know what she charges him.”

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“They have a sign at the beach, "no glass bottles". I think that's so the other sand particles don't feel like underachievers.”

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“I think fur looks better on an animal than on a human being. So I dress my dog in a mink teddy.”

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“One man's pet-stained carpet is another man's Twister game.”

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“I took my grandmother to the emergency room. The doctor said that she was on an artificial life support system, and that although her brain was dead her heart was still beating. I though, "we've never had a democrat in the family before".”

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“One of the major problems encountered in time travel is not that of accidentally becoming your own father or mother. There is no problem involved in becoming your own father or mother that a broadminded and well-adjusted family can't cope with.”

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Book:The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Omnibus: A Trilogy in Four Parts

Source: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Omnibus: A Trilogy in Four Parts