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Quote by Arj Barker

“My general rule of thumb is, once something's a ride at Disneyland, I assume that it is no longer a threat in real life. Which is why I don't expect to get attacked by a giant tea cup anytime soon.”

Quote by Arj Barker

Author

Arj Barker is a British comedian, born on August 12, 1974. He is known for his unique sense of humor and sharp wit, often bringing laughter to audiences through television and stage performances. more

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“I quit because I'm so tired of hearing bad news about cigarettes... Even if they discover good news, they don't publicize it - like the fact that smoking seriously reduces the risk of jogging.”

Ifs Facts Risk News Tired Hearing Quitting Smoking Cigarette Good News Bad News I Quit Jogging

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“I'm thinking of switching banks, and my friend said, 'Well, what's wrong with Citibank?' Well, they can't spell 'city.' I hope their math is better than their English is.”

Thinking Wells Said Cities My Friends Math Spells Switching Citibank

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“Home is wherever I am. People make too big a deal about where you live. I try to be grounded in myself. Home is another way of saying 'a place where you keep all your stuff'.”

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“I never smoke grass and drive my car because, for one thing, no matter how many letters I write to the road commissions, they still refuse to start designing highways with second-chance exits.”

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Source: The Marijuana-logues: Everything About Pot That We Could Remember

“I'm in love with a philosophy major, and she doesn't even know I exist. And what's worse, she can prove it.”

Knows Philosophy Prove Majors Prove It

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“I love New York, though I'll never eat any of the ice creams that they sell in the park. That's just disgusting. You see the little picture of them? They all have a little bite taken out of them already.”

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“I hate all generalisations.”

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“Anybody see 'Cop Land'? I went to go see it, but I got stoned in the parking lot. And then on the way in, I read the marquee, and I got paranoid and went home.”

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“There are so many types of shoes. There's so many categories, and I really have no idea what type of shoe I need at any given time. And I go in there - I find it a little bit overwhelming. 'Welcome to the shoe store! What are you looking for? Are you looking for walking shoes?' Well, uh, I'd like to have that option. Hopefully, they're adjustable. I mean, I'd like to be able to turn them up to other settings, as well.”

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“Thank you for leaving us alone but giving us enough attention to boost our egos.”

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