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Quote by Arj Barker

“I'm in love with a philosophy major, and she doesn't even know I exist. And what's worse, she can prove it.”

Author

Arj Barker is a British comedian, born on August 12, 1974. He is known for his unique sense of humor and sharp wit, often bringing laughter to audiences through television and stage performances. more

“There are so many types of shoes. There's so many categories, and I really have no idea what type of shoe I need at any given time. And I go in there - I find it a little bit overwhelming. 'Welcome to the shoe store! What are you looking for? Are you looking for walking shoes?' Well, uh, I'd like to have that option. Hopefully, they're adjustable. I mean, I'd like to be able to turn them up to other settings, as well.”

Needs Wells Mean Littles Ideas Able Turns Given Bits Type Walking Little Bit Shoes Stores Setting Welcome Settings Hopefully No Idea Categories Overwhelming Walking Shoes

Author:Arj Barker

“Thank you for leaving us alone but giving us enough attention to boost our egos.”

Giving Enough Attention Teacher Ego Leaving Be Grateful Thanksgiving Thank You Boost

Author:Mick Jagger

“All I knew about Ireland before I went there was what I learned from watching soap commercials all my life. I was totally misinformed. I thought it was an Irish tradition where you don't even take a shower with your soap - you take your soap for a walk, you compliment the soap for a little while and then, suddenly, you just start hacking it up with a hunting knife.”

Littles Walks Tradition Advertising Compliment Knives Hunting Ireland Showers Soap Hacking

Author:Arj Barker

“I just got a car, and I gotta say, this car is very cryptic. The very first day I drove it, a light came on out of nowhere: 'Check engine.' Could they be any more vague? What if a light came on and said, 'Problem'?”

Ifs Firsts Said Problem Light Car Checks What If Engines Vague Cryptic

Author:Arj Barker

“I could've enjoyed a cigarette if I smoked back before everyone knew it was bad - say, like, 1923. Everybody smoked back then. There was no medical information against it; they had no idea - it was a paradise. It was a smoker's paradise: 'They're taking my lung out next week. I don't know why. Doctor thinks maybe I'm brushing my teeth too often, but I can't help it because, for some reason, my breath smells like I licked a monkey's ass.”

Ifs Thinking Knows I Can Ideas Reason Helping Next Week Information Doctors Breaths Smell Medical Teeth Ass Enjoyed No Idea Paradise Cigarette Monkeys Lungs Next Week Smokers Brushing

Author:Arj Barker

“I never thought I'd be a comedian. But, growing up, I simply loved watching comedy. The '80s was huge for comedy in the US. Eddie Murphy blew me away with his film Delirious.”

Film Growing Up Comedy Growing Huge Comedian 80s Murphy Delirious

Author:Arj Barker

“I was a typical kid. I dug holes in the yard, threw rocks, had plum battles with the neighbours and used trash can lids as shields. I was always outside getting dirty.”

Kids Used Rocks Battle Holes Dirty Yards Typical Trash Shields Neighbour Plums Trash Cans

Author:Arj Barker

Quote by Arj Barker

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