Home / Quotes / Quote by Arj Barker

Quote by Arj Barker

“I never smoke grass and drive my car because, for one thing, no matter how many letters I write to the road commissions, they still refuse to start designing highways with second-chance exits.”

Quote by Arj Barker

Book:The Marijuana-logues: Everything About Pot That We Could Remember

Work

The Marijuana-logues: Everything About Pot That We Could Remember

This book delves into the multifaceted world of marijuana, exploring its origins, usage, and societal implications. It offers a mix of historical context, cultural insights, and personal stories, providing a well-rounded view of the subject. more

Author

Arj Barker is a British comedian, born on August 12, 1974. He is known for his unique sense of humor and sharp wit, often bringing laughter to audiences through television and stage performances. more

You May Also Like

“I'm in love with a philosophy major, and she doesn't even know I exist. And what's worse, she can prove it.”

Knows Philosophy Prove Majors Prove It

Author:Arj Barker

“I love New York, though I'll never eat any of the ice creams that they sell in the park. That's just disgusting. You see the little picture of them? They all have a little bite taken out of them already.”

Littles Taken New York Sells Ice Parks Bites Disgusting Cream Ice Cream I Love New York

Author:Arj Barker

“I hate all generalisations.”

Hate I Hate Generalisation

Author:Arj Barker

“Anybody see 'Cop Land'? I went to go see it, but I got stoned in the parking lot. And then on the way in, I read the marquee, and I got paranoid and went home.”

Way Home Land Cop Paranoid Parking Parking Lot Marquee

Author:Arj Barker

“There are so many types of shoes. There's so many categories, and I really have no idea what type of shoe I need at any given time. And I go in there - I find it a little bit overwhelming. 'Welcome to the shoe store! What are you looking for? Are you looking for walking shoes?' Well, uh, I'd like to have that option. Hopefully, they're adjustable. I mean, I'd like to be able to turn them up to other settings, as well.”

Needs Wells Mean Littles Ideas Able Turns Given Bits Type Walking Little Bit Shoes Stores Setting Welcome Settings Hopefully No Idea Categories Overwhelming Walking Shoes

Author:Arj Barker

“Thank you for leaving us alone but giving us enough attention to boost our egos.”

Giving Enough Attention Teacher Ego Leaving Be Grateful Thanksgiving Thank You Boost

Author:Mick Jagger

“All I knew about Ireland before I went there was what I learned from watching soap commercials all my life. I was totally misinformed. I thought it was an Irish tradition where you don't even take a shower with your soap - you take your soap for a walk, you compliment the soap for a little while and then, suddenly, you just start hacking it up with a hunting knife.”

Littles Walks Tradition Advertising Compliment Knives Hunting Ireland Showers Soap Hacking

Author:Arj Barker

“I just got a car, and I gotta say, this car is very cryptic. The very first day I drove it, a light came on out of nowhere: 'Check engine.' Could they be any more vague? What if a light came on and said, 'Problem'?”

Ifs Firsts Said Problem Light Car Checks What If Engines Vague Cryptic

Author:Arj Barker

“I could've enjoyed a cigarette if I smoked back before everyone knew it was bad - say, like, 1923. Everybody smoked back then. There was no medical information against it; they had no idea - it was a paradise. It was a smoker's paradise: 'They're taking my lung out next week. I don't know why. Doctor thinks maybe I'm brushing my teeth too often, but I can't help it because, for some reason, my breath smells like I licked a monkey's ass.”

Ifs Thinking Knows I Can Ideas Reason Helping Next Week Information Doctors Breaths Smell Medical Teeth Ass Enjoyed No Idea Paradise Cigarette Monkeys Lungs Next Week Smokers Brushing

Author:Arj Barker

“I never thought I'd be a comedian. But, growing up, I simply loved watching comedy. The '80s was huge for comedy in the US. Eddie Murphy blew me away with his film Delirious.”

Film Growing Up Comedy Growing Huge Comedian 80s Murphy Delirious

Author:Arj Barker