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Quote by Kilroy J. Oldster

“We must each navigate a private expedition into the dense jungle of the mind. One must daringly respond to the call of autonomy in order to escape a caged in life of attachment, desolation, trepidation, and self-destruction. We can each locate a slice of heaven inside us.”

Quote by Kilroy J. Oldster

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Dead Toad Scrolls

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Kilroy J. Oldster

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“The logical thinking ability of the conscious mind evolves as we mature. The clutter of capricious milieu relegated to the capacious matrix of the unconscious mind expands as we encounter variegated mileposts in life. Scrambled drives and conflicting motives influence formation of the conscious and unconscious self. Some of my previous apex personal motives and accomplishments are now repugnant to me. I seek to realign motives, drives, and desires of the conscious and unconscious mind into an orderly system in order to reduce anxiety and to reach self-fulfillment.”

“I am an autonomous human being, self-regulating and self-governing, and duty bound to quest for the pure idea of how I wish to exist. I need to make the most of this breath of life while I can. I wish to live mindfully. I seek a roadmap leading to personal enlightenment, a means to live as effortlessly as a cork bobbing on a river, not resisting the flow of the stream, not fighting myself, liberated from the anxiety of foolishly lingering over prior travels, unconcerned where I am at, and accepting without reservation where I am heading without desiring more. A person with a light heart and a sound mind wants for nothing. I seek to travel into the mist of future while conscientiously working towards obtaining spiritual enlightenment. I search to acquire an active and open state of mindfulness, but I must exercise caution in doing so, because any degree of wanting, any foray to acquire money or acclaim, undermines the desire to achieve mental stillness and emotional equanimity. By living in an authentic and spontaneous manner, without striving, without obsessing about the horror of the past and the ambiguity of looming future, and by living exclusively in the now, I hope to experience the universal truths – the ultimate reality of absolute existence – reflective of the true nature of the universe.”

“Every society produces its outcast. I am wickedly corrupt, the type of renegade spirit that other men fear. I am the natural rival of briefcases carrying corporate men whom brandish their patented leather bourgeois success. Carrying a money satchel to demonstrate economic success means little to me, especially if the only purpose of such public display of a purse is to pay homage to a chrome plated heart. I grew my hair out to exhibit independence from corporate America, but ultimately I answer only to a herculean self. I hear insalubrious cries of innocence, pleading lack of personal wrongdoing, but in my heart, I condemned myself for living a slipshod life filled with falsehoods. I conducted a show trial and found myself guilty of living selfishly. I deserve punishment for a wicked lifestyle, but self-punishment only operates to negate personal drive. I need to determine a reason to live and a find a means to move beyond a corrupt past.”

“A person is frequently the victim of his or her own insecurities and latent fears. I need to cease being fretful of a changing world and worried that I will not stack up to the exemplary example established by my forefathers for living life brilliantly. I must stop simply observing life and cease the willful act of disconnecting myself from the pulse of this great nation. I aspire to seek connection with other people, smoother myself in nature’s insurmountable beauty, and work to preserve high-minded ideas and the altruistic purposes this nation founded. Only by freeing myself from a life of self-absorption and by exhibiting profound appreciation for the surrounding world can I ascertain a decisive meaning in life. By recognizing my miniscule place in the world, I will come to terms with the purpose of existence, and only by understanding and accepting my purpose, will I know how to feel right about what I am. Only by understanding my place in history and my tiny role in the continuation of civilization will I come to appreciate all of humanity. I must put my shoulder to the wheel and stop ducking out of performing all exacting tasks.”