Home / Quotes / Quote by Bill Maher

Quote by Bill Maher

“That Mitt Romney, he is a master campaigner. This week he was introducing his wife, and he said, 'She is the heavyweight champion of my life.” Which may explain why on the ride home, he was strapped to the roof of the car.”

Quote by Bill Maher

Author

Bill Maher is an American comedian, political commentator, and television host. Known for his sharp political satire and humor, he is best recognized for hosting ABC's 'Politically Incorrect'. Born on January 20, 1956, Maher's career spans television, film, and stage performances, as well as writing and producing. more

You May Also Like

“Romney, Gingrich, Santorum spent their week lecturing America about the morality of birth control. You know, you guys don't need birth control, you are birth control.”

Knows Needs America Guy Week Birth Morality Romney Birth Control Lecturing

Author:Bill Maher

“Now that they've finished reading the Constitution out loud, the Teabaggers must call out that group of elitist liberals whose values are so antithetical to theirs. I'm talking of course about the Founding Fathers, who the Teabaggers believe are just like them, but aren't. One is a group of exclusively white men who live in a bygone century, have bad teeth, and think of blacks as 3/5 of a person, and the other are the Founding Fathers.”

Thinking Men Believe Persons Values Courses Reading Father White Talking Groups Century Constitution Finished Teeth Loud White Man Founding Elitist

Author:Bill Maher

“Republicans stand by their convictions. Stupid, ignorant, world-destroying convictions based on disproven economic fantasies and ancient books full of primitive morality and magic people. But convictions, nonetheless.”

People World Book Fantasy Magic Economic Stupid Morality Republican Ancient Conviction Ignorant Destroying Primitive

Book:The New New Rules: A Funny Look at How Everybody but Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass

Source: The New New Rules: A Funny Look at How Everybody but Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass

“We had a national tragedy this week, and the President of the United States and Sarah Palin both made speeches on the same day. Obama came out against lunatics with guns, she gave the rebuttal.”

Made States President United United States Week Speech Gun Tragedy Palin Rebuttal

Author:Bill Maher

“Rick Santorum has come out against contraception and against college. He wants us literally to be f**king stupid.”

Want Stupid College Kings Want U Contraception

Author:Bill Maher

“The Republicans released their 'Pledge to America.' It's 21 pages of phony charts and bad ideas. Sarah Palin got a copy, and she said, 'How am I supposed to fit all this crap on my hand?”

Said Ideas Hands America Fit Republican Pages Copies Crap Pledge Bad Ideas Palin Phony

Author:Bill Maher

“Hey birthers, wanna hear my theory? My theory was that Obama was born in America and you were born with the umbilical cord around your neck.”

America Born Theory Hey Necks Cords Umbilical Cord

Author:Bill Maher

“Only 42 percent of Republicans believe Obama was born in the United States. That's an amazing statistic. How come in America Christians are the only ones who won't take anything on faith?”

Believe States Christian America Born United United States Republican Percent

Author:Bill Maher

“I want you teabaggers out there to understand one thing: while you idolize the Founding Fathers and dress up like them, and smell like them, I think it's pretty clear that the Founding Fathers would have hated your guts. And what's more, you would've hated them. They were everything you despise. They studied science, read Plato, hung out in Paris and thought the Bible was mostly bulls**t.”

Thinking Want Father Clear One Thing Dresses Smell Hated Paris Guts Despise I Want You Hung Plato Founding Bulls

Author:Bill Maher

“But I've often said that if I had – I have two dogs – if I had two retarded children, I'd be a hero. And yet the dogs, which are pretty much the same thing. What? They're sweet. They're loving. They're kind, but they don't mentally advance at all. Dogs are like retarded children.”

Ifs Kind Children Said Two Dog Sweet Hero Retarded Two Dogs

Author:Bill Maher