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Quote by Wynn Wilder

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Salt & Flame: A collection for the ones who endured the burn—and chose to stay.

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Wynn Wilder

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“When my mom died, it felt like everyone I knew had a story about her. Every story was a different flavor of grief, a memory that would just pour out of people to absolve a wound far beneath the skin. To make sense of something that couldn't make sense. As they talked, I would wonder if it was for me or for them, the stories slowly becoming empty words. Empty words passing over lips in an attempt to reconcile a loss that couldn't be reconciled.”

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“Societally, we have internalized some of depression's lies - that sadness is wrong, that it is bad, that it is not valuable. That it needs to be made "better." We celebrate wellness and leave no space for sorrow, brokenness, grief, or anything other than "I'm fine" when the truth is that life is complicated, painful, and difficult. Whole humans feel a whole range of emotions, but we applaud only half of them, driving our negatively perceived emotions deep into hiding for fear of judgment. There, they are safe to fester and grow stronger, which in turn drives us to hid them more.”

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“Grief isn’t linear. It comes in waves. Some are tsunamis—early on, most of them are. They knock your legs away again and again and again. You never have time to get back to your feet. Over time, the waves get smaller. It doesn’t get easier, just more manageable—but right after you lose someone, where you’re learning your new reality without them in it, it’s like being on the beach as a little kid, and you see the water coming, and you know that no matter what you do, you can’t get out of the way in time. What people don’t tell you is that sometimes, the waves can get real big again for no reason. They come out of nowhere and steal your breath, and it hurts just as bad, even after years. Decades.”

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