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Quote by Jerry Seinfeld

“I like staying in hotels. I like their tiny soap. I like to pretend it's regular-sized and my muscles are huge.”

Quote by Jerry Seinfeld

Author

Jerry Seinfeld, born on April 29, 1954, is a renowned American comedian, screenwriter, and producer. Known for his unique humor style and witty dialogue, he is best known for his sitcom 'Seinfeld'. Seinfeld's deep insights into everyday life and unique perspectives on human relationships have won him the affection of audiences worldwide. more

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“The luge is the only Olympic event where you could have people competing in it against their will, and it would look exactly the same. Take people off the street, 'Hey, hey, hey, what is this?! I don't wanna be in the luge!' Once you put that helmet on them, 'You're in the luge, buddy!' 'aaaAAAaaaAAAaaaAAA... aaaAAAAA...' World record. Didn't even wanna do it. I'd like to see that next Olympics, the Involuntary Luge.”

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“You know what I never get with the limo? The tinted windows. Is that so people don't see you? Yeah, what a better way not to have people notice you than taking a thirty foot Cadillac with a TV antenna and a uniformed driver. How discreet. Nobody cares who's in the limo. You see a limo go by, you know it's either some rich jerk or fifty prom kids with $1.75 each.”

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“Magazines are another medium I love, because 95% is simply based on 'How the hell are we going to fill all this blank space?”

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“I was in front of an ambulance the other day, and I noticed that the word ambulance was spelled in reverse print on the hood of the ambulance. And I thought, Well, isn't that clever. I look in the rear-view mirror; I can read the word ambulance behind me. Of course while you're reading, you don't see where you're going, you crash. You need an ambulance. I think they're trying to drum up some business on the way back from lunch.”

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“Cry when you get a Golden Globe. Then you can get an Oscar nomination.”

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“Anyone who would laugh at a recital is probably some sort of lunatic anyway. I mean, only a sick, twisted mind could be that rude and ignorant.”

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“My wife is funny. And I dabble in it. So being funny is big around our house. But what's surprised me is my daughter can do an English accent. I don't know how she learned this.”

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“I've never been into what am I going to do next, trying to reinvent myself.”

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“There's no downside to fame and people who whine about it make me sick. It's the greatest thing in the world.”

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“There is no more embarrassing thing in my life than the fact that I have actually uttered the phrase, 'I would like to order the Ginsu Knife.'”

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