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Quote by Frank Pittman

“To insult a friend implies that you respect his masculinity enough to know he can take it without acting like a crybaby. The swapping of insults, like the fighting between brothers, becomes the seal of the male bonding.”

Quote by Frank Pittman

Author

Frank Pittman, born in 1935 in the United States, was a renowned psychiatrist and psychologist. His research focused on the fields of psychotherapy and interpersonal relationships, having a profound impact on modern psychotherapy. more

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“Our ability to fall in love requires enough comfort with our masculinity to join it with someone's femininity and feel enhanced. .. . If our mother made us feel secure and proud in our masculinity, then we want to find that again in our wife. If we are really comfortable with our mother, we can even marry a woman who is a friend rather than an adversary, and form a true partnership.”

Ifs Want Feels Made Enough Form Mother Fall Ability Wife Proud Comfort Comfortable Falling In Love Secure Partnership Masculinity Femininity Adversaries

Author:Frank Pittman

“Once women invented farming, and began to keep and breed animals, they discovered the crucial function of the rooster and the henhouse. Fathers suddenly gained a function, and could do what only women had been able to do for all those millions of years--point at a child and say, "That is my son," "That is my daughter." Patriarchy quickly followed, beginning about five thousand years ago; a very short time in the development of our species, but covering all of recorded history.”

“Family life in Western society since the time of the Old Testament has been a struggle to maintain patriarchy, male domination, and double standards in the face of a natural drift towards monogamous bonding. Young men have been called upon to prove their masculinity by their willingness to die in warfare, and young women have been called upon to prove their femininity by their willingness to die for their man. Women have been asked to appear small, dumb, and helpless so men would feel big and strong, brave, and clever. It's been a trick.”

“Every boy was supposed to come into the world equipped with a father whose prime function was to be our father and show us how tobe men. He can escape us, but we can never escape him. Present or absent, dead or alive, real or imagined, our father is the main man in our masculinity.”

Men World Real Shows Father Boys Alive Function Prime Masculinity Absent Our Father

Author:Frank Pittman

“Mothers who are strong people, who can pursue a life of their own when it is time to let their children go, empower their childrenof either gender to feel free and whole. But weak women, women who feel and act like victims of something or other, may make their children feel responsible for taking care of them, and they can carry their children down with them.”

People Feels May Children Whole Care Mother Strong Weak Responsible Victim Gender Pursue Empowering Men Women Strong People Weak Women

Author:Frank Pittman

“However patriarchal the world, at home the child knows that his mother is the source of all power. The hand that rocks the cradlerules his world. . . . The son never forgets that he owes his life to his mother, not just the creation of it but the maintenance of it, and that he owes her a debt he cannot conceivably repay, but which she may call in at any time.”

Knows World May Children Home Hands Mother Forget Rocks Creation Son Source Debt Never Forget Maintenance

Author:Frank Pittman

“The mother must teach her son how to respect and follow the rules. She must teach him how to compete successfully with the other boys. And she must teach him how to find a woman to take care of him and finish the job she began of training him how to live in a family. But no matter how good a job a woman does in teaching a boy how to be a man, he knows that she is not the real thing, and so he tends to exaggerate the differences between men and women that she embodies.”

Knows Men Doe Real Matter Care Jobs Mother Differences Boys Teach Teaching Son Training Men And Women Take Care Be A Man Real Things Differences Between Man And Woman

Author:Frank Pittman

“A real man doesn't have to run from his mother, and may even have to face the reality that no great deed is going to be great enough for him to ransom himself completely, and he may always be in his mother's debt. If he understands that . . . he won't have to feel guilty, and he won't have to please her completely. He can go ahead and be nice to her and let her be part of his life.”

Ifs Men Feels May Real Enough Reality Running Faces Mother Nice Please Deeds Debt Guilty Being Nice Real Men Ransom

Author:Frank Pittman

“Nothing is quite so horrifying and paralyzing as to win the Oedipal struggle and to be awarded your mother as the prize.”

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Author:Frank Pittman

“Parents have to get over the idea that their children belong just to them; children are a family affair.”

Children Ideas Parent Family Affair Get Over

Author:Frank Pittman