Quotessence
Home / Quotes / Quote by Frank Pittman

Quote by Frank Pittman

“However patriarchal the world, at home the child knows that his mother is the source of all power. The hand that rocks the cradlerules his world. . . . The son never forgets that he owes his life to his mother, not just the creation of it but the maintenance of it, and that he owes her a debt he cannot conceivably repay, but which she may call in at any time.”

Quote by Frank Pittman

Create image

Author

Frank Pittman
Frank Pittman

Frank Pittman, born in 1935 in the United States, was a renowned psychiatrist and psychologist. His research focused on the fields of psychotherapy and interpersonal relationships, having a profound impact on modern psychotherapy. more

You May Also Like

“The mother must teach her son how to respect and follow the rules. She must teach him how to compete successfully with the other boys. And she must teach him how to find a woman to take care of him and finish the job she began of training him how to live in a family. But no matter how good a job a woman does in teaching a boy how to be a man, he knows that she is not the real thing, and so he tends to exaggerate the differences between men and women that she embodies.”

KnowsMenDoeRealMatterCareJobsMotherDifferencesBoysTeachTeachingSonTrainingMen And WomenTake CareBe A ManReal ThingsDifferences Between Man And Woman
Author:Frank Pittman
Create image

“A real man doesn't have to run from his mother, and may even have to face the reality that no great deed is going to be great enough for him to ransom himself completely, and he may always be in his mother's debt. If he understands that . . . he won't have to feel guilty, and he won't have to please her completely. He can go ahead and be nice to her and let her be part of his life.”

IfsMenFeelsMayRealEnoughRealityRunningFacesMotherNicePleaseDeedsDebtGuiltyBeing NiceReal MenRansom
Author:Frank Pittman
Create image

“All those tough guys who want to scare the world into seeing them as men . . . who don't know how to be a man with a woman, only abrute or a boy, who fill up the divorce courts; all those corporate raiders and rain-forest burners and war starters who want more in hopes that will make them feel better; . . . are suffering from Father Hunger. They go through their puberty rituals day after day for a lifetime, waiting for a father to anoint them and say "Attaboy," to treat them as good enough to be considered a man.”

KnowsMenWorldWantFeelsWarEnoughGuySufferingFatherWaitingBoysKnow HowSeeingToughRainTreatsCourtLifetimeHungerDivorceForestsCorporateGood EnoughRitualScareFeel BetterFatherhoodBe A ManPubertyStartersTough GuyRaiders
Author:Frank Pittman
Create image

“Masculinity varies from time to time and place to place. But it doesn't exist just in the mind of a single guy: it is shared withthe other guys. It is a code of conduct that requires men to maintain masculine postures and attitudes (however they are defined) at all times and in all places. Masculinity includes the symbols, uniforms, chants, and plays that make this the boys' team rather than the girls' team.”

MenMindPlayGuyGirlAttitudeBoysTeamAll TimeSymbolsDefinedCodeUniformsMasculinityMasculineVaryOther GuysPostureSingle Guy
Author:Frank Pittman
Create image

“The men who are messing up their lives, their families, and their world in their quest to feel man enough are not exercising truemasculinity, but a grotesque exaggeration of what they think a man is. When we see men overdoing their masculinity, we can assume that they haven't been raised by men, that they have taken cultural stereotypes literally, and that they are scared they aren't being manly enough.”

ThinkingMenWorldFeelsEnoughTakenHavensHe ManExerciseAssumingRaisedScaredQuestsStereotypeMasculinityExaggerationManlyGrotesqueMessing Up
Author:Frank Pittman
Create image

“In time, after a dozen years of centering their lives around the games boys play with one another, the boys' bodies change and that changes everything else. But the memories are not erased of that safest time in the lives of men, when their prime concern was playing games with guys who just wanted to be their friendly competitors. Life never again gets so simple.”

MenYearsPlayBodyWantedGuyGamesMemoriesSimpleBoysConcernFriendlyPrimeDozenCompetitorsPlaying GamesCenteringBody Change
Author:Frank Pittman
Create image

“The great passion in a man's life may not be for women or men or wealth or toys or fame, or even for his children, but for his masculinity, and at any point in his life he may be tempted to throw over the things for which he regularly lays down his life for the sake of that masculinity. He may keep this passion secret from women, and he may even deny it to himself, but the other boys know it about themselves and the wiser ones know it about the rest of us as well.”

KnowsMenWellsMayChildrenPassionWealthSecretBoysFameLaysSakeDenyToysWiserMasculinityTemptedGreat Passion
Author:Frank Pittman
Create image

“We become male automatically because of the Y chromosome and the little magic peanut, but if we are to become men we need the helpof other men--we need our fathers to model for us and then to anoint us, we need our buddies to share the coming-of-age rituals with us and to let us join the team of men, and we need myths of heroes to inspire us and to show us the way.”

IfsMenWayNeedsLittlesShowsAgeFatherMagicTeamShareInspireHeroModelsMalesMythComing Of AgeRitualOur FatherBuddyPeanutsChromosomes
Author:Frank Pittman
Create image