Home / Quotes / Quote by Craig Ferguson

Quote by Craig Ferguson

“BP CEO Tony Hayward said recently, 'No one wants this thing over more than I do. I'd like my life back.' Tony, I'm so sorry you had your summer disrupted. I'd buy you a drink, but you'd probably spill that too and make me clean it up.”

Author

Craig Ferguson

English biography, 120-180 words more

“This Tony Haywire guy, whatever his name is, he told the BBC on Sunday that he believes the new oil cap that they've installed will eventually capture the vast majority of oil spewing from the well. You know, if they could capture half the BS spewing from Tony Hayward, people would be thrilled.”

People Ifs Knows Believe Wells Would Be Guy Names Half Majority Oil Sunday Capture Caps

Author:Jay Leno

“BP CEO Tony Hayward said he would just like to get his life back. He wants to get his life back. You know, I say give him life plus 20.”

Knows Want Giving Said Plus Ceo

Author:Jay Leno

“BP wants Twitter to shut down a fake BP account that is mocking the oil company. In response, Twitter wants BP to shut down the oil leak that's ruining the ocean.”

Want Company Ocean Accounts Response Oil Fake Leaks Oil Companies Oil Spill

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“The oil spill is getting bad. There is so much oil and tar now in the Gulf of Mexico, Cubans can now walk to Miami.”

Walks Oil Mexico Spills Miami Cuban Oil Spill Gulf Of Mexico

Author:David Letterman

“A new poll found that 43 percent of Americans think President Obama is doing a good job at handling the BP oil spill. Of course, the same poll found that 43 percent of Americans hate pelicans.”

Thinking Jobs Hate Courses Found President Percent Oil President Obama Good Job Polls Spills Oil Spill Pelicans

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“Have you been following the big oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico? Or as we call it now, the Dead Sea.”

Bigs Sea Following Oil Mexico Spills Oil Spill Gulf Of Mexico Big Oil

Author:David Letterman

“There is so much oil now in the Gulf of Mexico, and you can thank the folks of British Petroleum for this, so much oil in the Gulf, you can now park on it.”

Folks British Oil Parks Mexico Petroleum Gulf Of Mexico

Author:David Letterman

“And tar is washing up onto the beaches - big globs of tar. And people are saying, 'Is that going to ruin our summer at the beach?' No, of course not. You take the big blobs of tar and you use them to hold down your blanket.”

People Use Bigs Courses Summer Ruins Beach Blanket Washing

Author:David Letterman

“They say the oil spill has the potential to kill more wildlife than a Sarah Palin hunting trip.”

Oil Hunting Wildlife Spills Palin Oil Spill

Author:David Letterman

Quote by Craig Ferguson

Author

You May Also Like