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Quote by Craig Kilborn

“This is so weird. I saw the new John Kerry campaign commercial and he says, 'I'm John Kerry and I approve of this message - if I have one.'”

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Craig Kilborn

Craig Kilborn, born on August 24, 1962, is an American actor known for his roles in various television series and films, renowned for his unique acting style and sense of humor. more

“John Kerry is busy trying to raise money right now for his campaign. It was reported today that Kerry's hoping to raise $80 million before the Democratic convention. That's a lot of money. Yeah, Kerry has two ways to raise the $80 million: soliciting Democratic donors and going through his wife's purse.”

Way Trying Two Today Millions Wife Right Now Raises Yeah Democratic Busy Campaigns Conventions Lots Of Money Two Ways Purses John Kerry Donors

Author:Conan O'Brien

“John Kerry described his Republican critics as 'the most crooked, lying group I've ever seen.' Now, that's saying something, because Kerry's both a lawyer and a politician.”

Lying Groups Politician Republican Critics Lawyer Crooked John Kerry

Author:Jay Leno

“John Kerry says that he wants to debate President Bush once a month until the election. This could be a risky move for Senator Kerry. If Bush doesn't show up for the debates, John Kerry may end up debating an empty chair. And that could be pretty much a toss up as to which one has the better personality.”

Ifs Want May Ends Shows Moving President Months Personality Empty Election Debate Chairs Senators President Bush Better Person Toss John Kerry

Author:Jay Leno

“The White House begun airing their TV commercials to re-elect the president, and the John Kerry campaign is condemning his use of 9/11 in the ads. He said, it is unconscionable to use the tragic memory of a war in order to get elected, unless of course, it's the Vietnam War.”

Said War Use Order Courses House President Memories White Tvs Campaigns Tragic White House Vietnam Ads Vietnam War John Kerry Condemning Tv Commercial

Author:Jay Leno

“John Kerry has promised to take this country back from the wealthy. Who better than the guy worth $700 million to take the country back? See, he knows how the wealthy think. He can spy on them at his country club, at his place in Palm Beach, at his house in the Hamptons. He's like a mole for the working man.”

Thinking Knows Men Country Guy House Millions Know How Clubs Beach Wealthy Palms Spy John Kerry Working Man Moles Country Clubs Hamptons Palm Beach

Author:Jay Leno

“I'm worried about John Kerry, he's so confident now that he's already planning his White House sex scandal.”

House Sex White Planning Worried White House Scandal John Kerry

Author:David Letterman

“John Kerry will be the Democratic nominee for president. Democrats finally found someone who is Al Gore without the flash and the sizzle.”

Found President Democratic Democrat Als Flash Gore John Kerry Found Someone

Author:Craig Kilborn

“Earlier today, President Bush said Kerry will be a tough and hard-charging opponent. That explains why Bush's nickname for Kerry is math.”

Said Hard Today President Tough Math Opponents President Bush Nicknames Charging

Author:Conan O'Brien

“Kerry has already begun his search for a running mate. They say that because John Edwards still has $50 million in campaign money, Kerry might pick him. Pick him? Hey, for $50 million, Kerry will marry him.”

Stills Might Running Millions Picks Campaigns Hey Mates

Author:Jay Leno

“According to a new study, Botox injections can help back pain. So you see, that's why John Kerry had all that Botox - his back was killing him from all that flip-flopping on issues.”

Helping Pain Study Issues Killing Flip John Kerry Botox Injection Back Pain Flopping

Author:Jay Leno

Quote by Craig Kilborn

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