“The Louvre is a morgue; you go there to identify your friends.”
Quote by Jean Cocteau
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“That field goal attempt was so far to the left it nearly decapitated Lyndon LaRouche.”
“The punt returner got smacked like Nancy Kerrigan's knee on souvenir pipe night.”
“I haven't seen someone so overmatched since Mike Tyson tried to recite the alphabet.”
“That secondary provides worse coverage than a Guatemalan HMO.”
“Hey, Cunningham - Andy Warhol called. You're at 14:55 and we're tickin' big-time here, Chachi.”
“Concussion? How the hell can they tell? They're *football* players, for chrissakes!”
“He lasted about as long as the dessert tray at Rosie O'Donnell's house.”
“Is it just me, or are the 49ers doing an awful lot of ass-patting today?”
“Their offense is shakier than Katherine Hepburn after an all-night espresso bender at Starbucks.”
