Home / Quotes / Quote by Jim Gaffigan

Quote by Jim Gaffigan

“You can't tell me the success of Kevin Bacon isn't somehow tied to his name. You're not going out to see a Kevin Hot-Dog movie.”

Quote by Jim Gaffigan

Author

Jim Gaffigan, born on July 7, 1966, is an American comedian known for his humorous and insightful performances. His style of comedy is characterized by its wit and keen observations of everyday life, often touching on themes such as family, religion, and interpersonal relationships. more

You May Also Like

“I've never eaten a Hot Pocket and then afterwards been, I'm glad I ate that. I'm always like, I'm gonna die.”

Funny Faces Dies Hurt Comedy Paid Hot Glad Pockets Back Hurts

Author:Jim Gaffigan

“After you eat a Hot Pocket, Everything will taste like rubber for a month!”

Funny Comedy Months Taste Hot Pockets Rubber

Author:Jim Gaffigan

“I am a guy who talks about bacon and escalators.”

Funny Guy Comedy Escalators

Author:Jim Gaffigan

“They always give you three ketchup packets. When you go back up and ask for more, the guy handing them out always treats you like you're taking from his personal stash. "Looks like my kids aren't having ketchup tonight."”

Giving Looks Kids Funny Guy Three Asks Comedy Like You Treats Tonight Ketchup

Author:Jim Gaffigan

“Some fast food places, they have that ketchup pump. It's like a keg. They give you the paper shot glass. I always like to hang around there, try and meet the ladies. "Here, I'll pump for you. You come to this Wendy's often? My roommate and I, we got a pony pump back at my dorm. Here's an extra shot "”

Giving Trying Funny Comedy Paper Shots Glasses Extras Fast Food Pumps Ponies Roommate Wendy Dorms Ketchup Kegs Shot Glass

Author:Jim Gaffigan

“What kind of life are you leading where you consider ketchup fancy? "Well, we ain't rich folk, but on special occasions, I'll break out the ketchup. Grandma's birthday, make her feel special"”

Feels Wells Kind Funny Break Rich Comedy Special Folks Occasions Fancy Grandma Break Out Special Occasion Ketchup

Author:Jim Gaffigan

“When our bed is made, it's covered in 40 pillows-like we're stockpiling ammo for the global pillow fight.”

Made Funny Fighting Comedy Bed Made It Covered Pillow Ammo Pillow Fights

Author:Jim Gaffigan

“Do whatever you do intensely.”

Focus Enthusiasm

Author:Robert Henri

“It is amazing how much more amazing sleep is in the morning. You wake up and you're like, "I stayed up to do what?! Watch Growing Pains? What was I thinking!?" But at night you're like, "La La La La La, Hey! Growing Pains, awesome! And I've seen this episode. That Kirk Cameron's always in trouble."”

Thinking Funny Pain Night Sleep Watches Morning Comedy Growing Trouble Wake Up Hey Episodes Cameron Growing Pains Kirk

Author:Jim Gaffigan

“How about those people who don't need sleep? What are they called again? Successful? What a bunch of dicks they are.”

People Needs Funny Sleep Successful Comedy Bunch Need Sleep

Author:Jim Gaffigan