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Quote by Dennis Miller

“The world is so ass-backwards it almost makes you wish you were dyslexic.”

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Dennis Miller, born on November 3, 1953, is a renowned American comedian. His career began in the late 1970s, and he quickly gained prominence in the comedy world with his unique humor style and sharp wit. more

“Teresa Lewis, the only woman on death row in Virginia, says she doesn't deserve the death penalty because she only hired the killers of her husband and stepson, she didn't actually pull the trigger herself. You know, she has a point. I think we should let her be able to hire the person who executes her, and not do yourself in! How's that, doll? Yeah! Get it over with quick, maybe Charlize Theron will sign up to play you.”

Thinking Knows Should Persons Play Able Husband Deserve Yeah Killers Penalties Death Penalty Triggers Dolls Virginia Teresa Death Row Stepsons

Author:Dennis Miller

“The good thing about Pittsburgh, it's a good place to be raised... it doesn't tolerate assholes. You're either a good guy or you're a bad guy... When I'm in Los Angeles having these incredibly surreal moments where nobody's saying anything and everybody's talking incessantly, I always have that Pittsburgh voice in my head - shut up, smile, get the job, move on.”

Moments Jobs Moving Guy Voice Talking Good Things Raised Los Angeles Tolerate Shut Up Bad Guys Surreal Good Guy Good Place Incessantly Pittsburgh Voices In My Head Surreal Moments

Author:Dennis Miller

“The soldiers kill suicide bombers. Think about that. When a guys whole thing in life is to kill himself and you get there first... you are halling ass my friends.”

Thinking Firsts Whole Life Is Guy My Friends Suicide Soldier Ass Things In Life Bombers Suicide Bombers

Author:Dennis Miller

“Growing up, my family wasn't very tight. We were more like a tour group with secrets.”

Secret Growing Up Growing Groups My Family

Author:Dennis Miller

“If you're a man and you have big tits, don't wear a tight T-shirt, okay? It confuses the children!”

Ifs Men Children Bigs Okay Shirts T Shirt

Author:Dennis Miller

“Parenting is the easiest job to get - you just have to screw up once and it's yours.”

Jobs Screws Screw Ups

Book:Rants

Source: Rants

“We are simultaneously the most hated, loved, feared and admired nation on this planet. In short, we are Frank Sinatra.”

Nations Planets Bones Hated Punk Frank Chairman Laying Down

Author:Dennis Miller

“The claim that somehow raw foods give you better energy, are more healthful, improve your immune system and all of that is simply not substantiated. And moreover, it's not biologically plausible.”

Giving Energy Claims Immune Plausible Immune System Raw Food

Author:Dennis Miller

Quote by Dennis Miller

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