“On discovering a fire, the instructions ran, shout Fire and try to put it out. It was useful, heart-of the matter advice, and could be extended almost indefinitely in any direction. On discovering your husband's guests are arseholes, shout Arseholes and try to put them out.”
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“Hells yeah. You kidding? Gay men are hot.”
“There ain't half been some clever bastards”
“Sketchy black van? Weird stalking of my house? What are you going to do next, offer me some candy?”
“Lord Teddie?" she said. "Will you stay for tea?" "Rather!" said the carpet.”
“Love is like a lost fart. If you have to force it, it's probably shit.”
“I can't believe she's lived this long. God must be avoiding her.”
“Red sky at night, the city's alight.”