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Quote by Dave Barry

“The IRS wants you to use this form because it gets to keep most of your money. So unless you have pond silt for brains, you want the long form.”

Quote by Dave Barry

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Dave Barry

Dave Barry is a renowned American humorist, born on July 3, 1947. His works are known for their unique humor style and satirical observations of everyday life. more

“You should not use your fireplace, because scientists now believe that, contrary to popular opinion, fireplaces actually remove heat from houses. Really, that's what scientists believe. In fact many scientists actually use their fireplaces to cool their houses in the summer. If you visit a scientist's house on a sultry August day, you'll find a cheerful fire roaring on the hearth and the scientist sitting nearby, remarking on how cool he is and drinking heavily.”

Source: All the Dave Barry you could ever want: four classic books in one from America's foremost humorist

“Cancel me not - for what then shall remain? Abscissas, some mantissas, modules, modes, A root or two, a torus and a node: The inverse of my verse, a null domain.”

Two Humorous Roots Verses Domain Inverse Null

Book:The Cyberiad

Source: The Cyberiad

“Come, every frustum longs to be a cone, And every vector dreams of matrices. Hark to the gentle gradient of the breeze: It whispers of a more ergodic zone.”

Dream Humorous Gentle Zone Breeze Cones Vectors

Book:The Cyberiad

Source: The Cyberiad

“Come, let us hasten to a higher plane, Where dyads tread the fairy fields of Venn, Their indices bedecked from one to _ n, Commingled in an endless Markov chain!”

Fields Higher Humorous Endless Chains Planes Fairy

Book:The Cyberiad

Source: The Cyberiad

“I'll grant the random access to my heart, Thoul't tell me all the constants of thy love; And so we two shall all love's lemmas prove And in our bound partition never part.”

Heart Two My Heart Prove Humorous Bounds Access Grants Partition

Author:Stanislaw Lem

“In Riemann, Hilbert or in Banach space Let superscripts and subscripts go their ways. Our symptotes no longer out of phase, We shall encounter, counting, face to face.”

Way Faces Space Humorous Encounters Phases Counting Face To Face Riemann

Book:The Cyberiad

Source: The Cyberiad

“Not far from here, by a white sun, behind a green star, lived the Steelypips, illustrious, industrious, and they hadn't a care: no spats in their vats, no rules, no schools, no gloom, no evil influence of the moon, no trouble from matter or antimatter - for they had a machine, a dream of a machine, with springs and gears and perfect in every respect. And they lived with it, and on it, and under it, and inside it, for it was all they had - first they saved up all their atoms, then they put them all together, and if one didn't fit, why they chipped at it a bit, and everything was just fine.”

Source: The Cyberiad

“Seduced, shaggy Samson snored. She scissored short. Sorely shorn, Soon shackled slave, Samson sighed, Silently scheming, Sightlessly seeking Some savage, spectacular suicide.”

Humorous Suicide Slave Seeking Savages Spectacular Samson

Book:The Cyberiad

Source: The Cyberiad

“Atlee is a very modest man. And with reason.”

Men Reason Humorous Modest

Book:The Churchill Wit

Source: The Churchill Wit

Quote by Dave Barry

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