“I'd like to help you, but you don't drink.”
Quote by Bob Lemon
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“A study shows breast implants can cause nausea and dizziness... from all the free drinks.”
“I was so drunk last night I fell down and missed the floor.”
“It's quite true I'm not drinking anymore; however, I'm not drinking any less either.”
“The two-headed boy in the circus never had such a headache.”
“I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.”
“When he buys his ties he has to ask if gin will make them run.”
Source: The Crack-up