“When the hell is Warren Moon going to retire? I mean, this guy is older than the cuneiform in Nebuchadnezzar's tomb.” Quote by Dennis Miller
“Check out the helmet hair on Randy Moss, babe! He looks like some freakish anti-Mr. T after a long evening sleeping through 'Aida.'” LooksLongSleepFootballHairChecksEveningBabeMossHelmetRandy Author:Dennis Miller
“That punt was higher than Marion Berry on a fact-finding tour of Cartagena.” FactsFootballHigherFindingsBerries Author:Dennis Miller
“That kid's got an arm like Uncle Fester at an exhibition of Pre-Colombian... um, Christ, I lost it. I was going for something thick. So what's with the beard, Grizzly Fouts?” KidsLostChristFootballArmsThickUnclesBeardExhibitionsGrizzlies Author:Dennis Miller
“Nervous? He's tighter than Pat Buchanan's sphincter muscle at a 4th of July soiree on Fire Island.” FireFootballNervousIslandsMuscles4th Of JulyJuly Author:Dennis Miller
“Ouch! And Marino goes down quicker than his Boonesfarm-infused sister in the back of my '68 Cutlass on our first date after watching 'Love Story' at the drive-in.” FirstsStoriesFootballLove StoryFirst DateOuch Author:Dennis Miller
“Warner had more hands in his face than an OB-GYN delivering Vishnu's triplets!” HandsFacesFootballDeliveringVishnuTriplet Author:Dennis Miller
“Mike, did you ever see the movie 'Cast Away?' In that movie, Tom Hanks' only friend was a ball named Wilson. In this game, Russell Wilson's only friend is a football.” GamesFootballBallsCastsTomsMikeWilsonCast Away Author:Jon Gruden
“The reward of art is not fame or success but intoxication: that is why so many bad artists are unable to give it up.” GivingArtArtistFameArt IsRewardsCongratulationsIntoxication Author:Jean Cocteau