Home / Quotes / Quote by Erma Bombeck

Quote by Erma Bombeck

“I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair.”

Quote by Erma Bombeck

Book:The Erma Bombeck Collection: If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?, Motherhood, and The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank

Work

The Erma Bombeck Collection: If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?, Motherhood, and The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank

This collection brings together a selection of Erma Bombeck's popular essays and stories, offering a humorous perspective on the challenges and joys of motherhood and the complexities of daily life. more

Author

Erma Bombeck was an American humorist and newspaper columnist renowned for her sharp wit and poignant observations on family life and suburban living. Born on February 21, 1927, she passed away on April 22, 1996. Bombeck's columns were syndicated in over 1,000 newspapers, and her books became bestsellers. more

You May Also Like

“The hack songwriter will write the absolute truth every single word, whether it makes a great song or not.”

Writing Truth Song Absolutes Songwriters Hacks Absolute Truth Single Word

Author:Paul Westerberg

“No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick.”

Children Mother Literature Sleep Known Family Bed Sick Died Spread Blanket Wrinkles Crooked Remakes Sleeping In Unmade Beds

Author:Erma Bombeck

“I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.”

Realizing Lucky Clothes Traditional Copies Leafs National Geographic

Author:Erma Bombeck

“Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they're not trying to keep up with you.”

Trying Spiritual Keep Trying

Author:Erma Bombeck

“Who's a boy gonna talk to if not his mother?”

Ifs Mother Inspiring Boys Mom Mothers Day Kindergarten Fidgeting

Author:Donald E. Westlake

“A friend of mine, now retired, was then a major exec at a major bank, and one of her jobs, the last four years, was the farewell interview.”

Years Funny Jobs Lasts Four Mines Majors Interviews Four Years Farewell Retired Goodbye Farewell Farewell Friend Farewell Love

Author:Donald E. Westlake

“The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.”

Reason Running Funny Literature Sex Exercise Heavy Breathing Runners Jogging Physical Exercise Track Running Track Runners Inspirational Track Running Funny Funny Running Ultra Running Breathing Again

Author:Erma Bombeck

“Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.”

Ifs Humans I Can Sometimes Literature Fashion Figures Design Designer Anatomy Figure Skating Flunking

Author:Erma Bombeck

“There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo.”

World Looks Miserable Paradise Funny Life Passports

Author:Erma Bombeck

“The military don't start wars. Politicians start wars.”

War Fear Peace Atheism Military Politician Army Rage Inspirational Military Soldiers At War Old Soldiers Start Wars

Author:William Westmoreland