Source: Mom Loves Me Best: (And Other Lies You Told Your Sister)
Funny Life Quotes
Browse 235 quotes about Funny Life.
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Funny Life Quotes
“People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.”
“Every time I get something under control in my own life, the world provides more material.”
“I'm more financially successful, but it just means the shopping blunders I make are bigger now.”
“When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second.”
“We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know.”
Source: Antæus
“The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive.”
“A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often.”
“In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out.”
“When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.”
“Life's more amusing than we thought.”
Source: Rhymes à la Mode
“The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.”
“A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.”
“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”
Source: In the Spotlight: Personal Experiences of Elbert Hubbard on the American Stage
“A man is not paid for having a head and hands, but for using them.”
“Don't take life too seriously.”
Source: Workin' It!: RuPaul's Guide to Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Style
“Life is not so bad if you have plenty of luck, a good physique, and not too much imagination.”
Source: The Wishing Tree: Christopher Isherwood on Mystical Religion
“A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.”
Source: Estimates of Some Englishmen and Scotchmen
“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”
“I love deadlines. I like the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”
Source: Abraham Lincoln, wisdom & wit
“A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.”
“The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.”
“The trouble with life is that there are so many beautiful women and so little time.”
“Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.”
“I was wise enough to never grow up while fooling most people into believing I had.”
“All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.”
“Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.”
“On the whole, human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time.”
“Airplanes may kill you, but they ain't likely to hurt you.”
“Anybody can win - unless there happens to be a second entry.”
“Promises are like crying babies in a theater, they should be carried out at once.”
“If you wish to forget anything on the spot, make a note that this thing is to be remembered.”
Source: Complete Collection of Edgar Allan Poe - 170+ eBooks (Complete Tales, Poems, Novels, Essays, Miscellaneous, Play)