Funny Life Quotes
Browse 235 quotes about Funny Life.
Related topics
Funny Life Quotes
“Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?”
“I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability.”
“Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about.”
“I put all my genius into my life; I put only my talent into my works.”
“I try not to worry about the future - so I take each day just one anxiety attack at a time.”
“The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby.”
“I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak.”
“I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed!”
“Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film.”
“If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.”
“Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.”
“First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.”
“A sense of humour is the only divine quality of man”
“The word “future” and females is a dangerous combination.”
“Comedy is tragedy plus time.”
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”
“The gods throw the dice and they don't ask whether we want to be in the game or not.”
“After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say 'I want to see the manager.'”
“Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.”
“All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.”
“I'm too young, too smart and too good-looking to die.”
“It’s frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.”
“The most important thing to do in your life is to not interfere with somebody else's life.”