Funny Life Quotes
Browse 235 quotes about Funny Life.
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Funny Life Quotes
“There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.”
“Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.”
“I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen to you.”
“A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.”
“You should always go to other people's funerals, otherwise, they won't come to yours.”
“Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim.”
“Everything has been figured out, except how to live.”
“I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it.”
“Life is like an ice-cream cone, you have to lick it one day at a time.”
“Make no mistake about why these babies are here - they are here to replace us.”
“Life is not worth living if I cannot have pasta or bread again.”
“There must be more to life than having everything.”
“If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.”
“Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.”
“A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.”
“All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.”
“My whole life is waiting for the questions to which I have prepared answers.”
“Life is a gamble, at terrible odds - if it was a bet you wouldn't take it.”
“You better take care of me Lord, if you don't you're gonna have me on your hands.”
“I learned a long time ago that reality was much weirder than anyone's imagination.”
“The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.”
“Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”
“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.”
“Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.”
“When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.”
“Never put off till tomorrow what you can do day after tomorrow just as well.”
“Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting.”
“Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.”
“If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differently.”
“I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep everyone's expectations.”
“If your knees aren't green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life.”
“The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present.”
“If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.”