“I don't know what reception I'm at, but for God's sake give me a gin and tonic.”
Funny Alcohol Quotes
Browse 137 quotes about Funny Alcohol.
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Funny Alcohol Quotes
Source: Selected Letters
Source: Travels With My Aunt
“Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and answer to, all of life's problems.”
“Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss.”
Source: Time Enough for Love
“Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.”
Source: The Good Life According to Hemingway
“An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.”
Source: The Good Life According to Hemingway
“My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars.”
“A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.”
“Wine gives a man nothing... it only puts in motion what had been locked up in frost.”
“Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism.”
“People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim.”
Source: The Wit & Wisdom of Abraham Lincoln: A Treasury of Quotations, Anecdotes, and Observations
“Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction.”
“You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.”
Source: Give War a Chance: Eyewitness Accounts of Mankind's Struggle Against Tyranny, Injustice, and Alcohol-Free Beer
Source: Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book for Rude People
“Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?”
“I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.”
“I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.”
“Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer.”
“Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.”
“Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.”
“Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.”
“An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.”
“Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.”
Source: Bite-Size Twain: Wit and Wisdom from the Literary Legend
“The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.”
“The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.”
Source: Real Frank Zappa Book
Source: My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands
Source: Table money