Best Funny Marijuana Quotes | Short & Famous Sayings

“If you substitute marijuana for tobacco and alcohol, you'll add eight to 24 years to your life.”

Ifs Years Add Eight Alcohol Substitutes Pot Weed Marijuana Tobacco Cannabis Funny Marijuana Funny Weed Ganja Great Weed

“We shall, by and by, want a world of hemp more for our own consumption.”

World Want Pot Weed Marijuana Consumption Cannabis Hemp Medical Marijuana Smoke Weed Funny Marijuana Ganja Cool Marijuana

Author:John Adams

“The other day they asked me about mandatory drug testing. I said I believed in drug testing a long time ago. All through the sixties I tested everything.”

Long Said Humor Drug Long Time Alcohol Weed Marijuana Sixty Tested Testing Alcoholics Long Time Ago Funny Marijuana Funny Weed Funny Drug Drug Testing

Author:Bill Lee

“Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.”

Two Funny Remember Brain Produce Computer Reactions Culinary Chocolate Pot Marijuana Dessert Similarity Researchers Cannabis Funny Marijuana Funny Weed Funny Chocolate Sweets And Desserts

Author:Matt Lauer

“Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction.”

“When you smoke the herb, it reveals you to yourself.”

“I think people need to be educated to the fact that marijuana is not a drug. Marijuana is an herb and a flower. God put it here. If He put it here and He wants it to grow, what gives the government the right to say that God is wrong?”

“Federal and state laws (should) be changed to no longer make it a crime to possess marijuana for private use.”

Should States Use Funny Law Crime Changed Drug Pot Weed Marijuana Prohibition Cannabis Hemp Smoke Weed Funny Marijuana Illegal Drugs Drug Laws Marijuana Prohibition

Author:Richard M. Nixon

“Penalties against possession of a drug should not be more damaging to an individual than the use of the drug itself; and where they are, they should be changed. Nowhere is this more clear than in the laws against possession of marijuana in private for personal use... Therefore, I support legislation amending Federal law to eliminate all Federal criminal penalties for the possession of up to one ounce [28g] of marijuana.”

“The amount of money and of legal energy being given to prosecute hundreds of thousands of Americans who are caught with a few ounces of marijuana makes no sense.”

“If the words 'life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness' don't include the right to experiment with your own consciousness, then the Declaration of Independence isn't worth the hemp it was written on.”

“Even if one takes every reefer madness allegation of the prohibitionists at face value, marijuana prohibition has done far more harm to far more people than marijuana ever could.”

“The illegality of cannabis is outrageous, an impediment to full utilization of a drug which helps produce the serenity and insight, sensitivity and fellowship so desperately needed in this increasingly mad and dangerous world.”

“I think pot should be legal. I don’t smoke it, but I like the smell of it.”

Thinking Should Smell Smoke Pot Weed Marijuana Cannabis Hemp Medical Marijuana Smoke Weed Funny Marijuana Funny Weed Cool Marijuana

Author:Andy Warhol

“Forty million Americans smoked marijuana; the only ones who didn’t like it were Judge Ginsberg, Clarence Thomas and Bill Clinton.”

Funny Millions Judging Bills Clinton Forty Weed Marijuana Cannabis Hemp Medical Marijuana Smoke Weed Ginsberg Funny Marijuana Funny Weed Stoners Funny Drug Ganja Cool Marijuana

Author:Jay Leno

“Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally upon our planet. Doesn’t the idea of making nature against the law seem to you a bit . . . unnatural?”

“I now have absolute proof that smoking even one marijuana cigarette is equal in brain damage to being on Bikini Island during an H-bomb blast”

“When I was in England, I experimented with marijuana a time or two, and I didnt like it, and I didnt inhale, and I never tried again.”

Two Time England Pot Weed Marijuana Cannabis Inhale Hemp Medical Marijuana Smoking Weed Smoke Weed Funny Marijuana Funny Weed Ganja Great Weed Cool Marijuana Marijuana Legalization

Author:William J. Clinton

“I smoked pot in college and in the Army.”

College Army Pot Weed Marijuana Cannabis Hemp Smoke Weed Funny Marijuana

Author:Al Gore

“When I was a kid, I inhaled. Frequently. That was the point.”

Kids Smoke Pot Weed Marijuana Bud Cannabis Hemp Medical Marijuana Smoke Weed Funny Marijuana Funny Weed Stoners Cool Marijuana Marijuana Legalization

Author:Barack Obama

“You bet I did and I enjoyed it.”

Enjoyed Weed Marijuana Cannabis Funny Marijuana Funny Weed Great Weed Marijuana Legalization

Author:Michael Bloomberg

“I think that marijuana should not only be legal, I think it should be a cottage industry. It would be wonderful for the state of Maine. There's some pretty good homegrown dope. I'm sure it would be even better if you could grow it with fertilizers and have greenhouses.”

Source: Bare bones: conversations on terror with Stephen King

“I enjoy smoking cannabis and see no harm in it”

Enjoy Harm Smoking Pot Weed Marijuana Cannabis Hemp Medical Marijuana Smoking Weed Funny Marijuana Ganja Smokin Weed Smoking Pot Cool Marijuana

Author:Jennifer Aniston

“Congress should definitely consider decriminalizing possession of marijuana. We should concentrate on prosecuting the rapists and burglars who are a menace to society.”

“Penalties against possession of a drug should not be more damaging to an individual than the use of the drug itself”

Source: White House Diary

“It really puzzles me to see marijuana connected with narcotics dope and all of that stuff. It is a thousand times better than whiskey. It is an assistant and a friend.”

“The biggest killer on the planet is stress and I still think the best medicine is and always has been cannabis.”

Thinking Has Beens Stills War Liberty Planets Stress Medicine Weed Marijuana Killers Cannabis Funny Marijuana Funny Weed Stoners Ganja Great Weed Marijuana Legalization

Author:Willie Nelson

“Just hit the blunt one time and see if it don't change your perception on whats important in your life.”

Ifs Important Humor Funny Comedy Perception One Time Marijuana Don't Change Blunt Funny Marijuana Ganja

Author:Katt Williams

“Marijuana is one of the safest, therapeutically active substances known to man.”

Men Known Active Substance Pot Weed Marijuana Prohibition Cannabis Hemp Medical Marijuana Smoke Weed Funny Marijuana Illegal Drugs Ganja Marijuana Legalization Marijuana Prohibition

Author:Frances M. Young

“Hemp is of first necessity to the wealth & protection of the country.”

Firsts Country Wealth Protection Pot Weed Marijuana Cannabis Hemp Medical Marijuana Smoke Weed Funny Marijuana Ganja Cool Marijuana Potheads

Author:Thomas Jefferson

“I know you're supposed to tell kids not to do drugs, but, kids, do it! Do weed! Don't do the other stuff, but weed is good”

Knows Kids Stuff Drug Weed Marijuana Cannabis Funny Marijuana Funny Weed

Author:Kevin Smith

“I have always loved marijuana. It has been a source of joy and comfort to me for many years. And I still think of it as a basic staple of life, along with beer and ice and grapefruits - and millions of Americans agree with me.”

Thinking Years Has Beens Stills Joy Millions Source Comfort Agree Ice Beer Weed Marijuana Bud Cannabis Staples Hemp Funny Marijuana Funny Weed Stoners Grapefruit Great Weed

Author:Hunter S. Thompson

“Marijuana is quite possibly the finest of intoxicants. It has been scientifically proven, for decades, to be much less harmful to the body than alcohol when used on a regular basis.”

Has Beens Body Used Bases Alcohol Decades Weed Marijuana Finest Proven Cannabis Hemp Funny Marijuana Funny Weed

Book:Paddle Your Own Canoe: One Man's Fundamentals for Delicious Living

Source: Paddle Your Own Canoe: One Man's Fundamentals for Delicious Living

“I don't consider weed to be any worse than having a beer.”

Beer Weed Marijuana Cannabis Hemp Smoking Weed Funny Marijuana Funny Weed Smokin Weed

Author:James Franco

“The first time I smoked was at home with my mother and stepfather; they were like, If you are going to do this, we'd rather you did this with us.”

Ifs Firsts Home Mother First Time Weed Marijuana Cannabis Hemp Smoke Weed Funny Marijuana Stepfathers Funny Weed

Author:Matt Damon

“One's condition on marijuana is always existential. One can feel the importance of each moment and how it is changing one. One feels one's being, one becomes aware of the enormous apparatus of nothingness - the hum of a hi-fi set, the emptiness of a pointless interruption, one becomes aware of the war between each of us, how the nothingness in each of us seeks to attack the being of others, how our being in turn is attacked by the nothingness in others.”

“Of course I know how to roll a joint.”

Knows Courses Know How Weed Marijuana Joints Bud Cannabis Hemp Smoke Weed Funny Marijuana Funny Weed Smoking A Joint

Author:Martha Stewart

“Casual drug users should be taken out and shot.”

Should Taken Drug Shots Pot Weed Marijuana Users Casual Prohibition Cannabis Funny Marijuana Funny Weed Ganja

Author:Daryl Gates

“I tried marijuana once. I did not inhale.”

Inspirational Inspiration Funny Drug Marijuana Addict Drug Addiction Drug Addict Inhale Funny Marijuana Funny Drug

Author:William J. Clinton

“To make marijuana against the law is like saying God made a big mistake.”

Made Bigs Law Mistake Weed Marijuana Made A Mistake Cannabis Big Mistake Funny Marijuana Funny Weed Cool Marijuana

Author:Bill Hicks

“I experimented with marijuana a time or two.”

Two Pot Weed Marijuana Cannabis Inhale Hemp Medical Marijuana Smoke Weed Funny Marijuana Funny Weed Ganja Smoking Pot Great Weed Cool Marijuana Marijuana Legalization

Author:William J. Clinton

“Smoking helped put me in touch with the realm of the senses.”

Senses Realms Smoking Weed Marijuana Cannabis Funny Marijuana Funny Weed

Author:Hugh Hefner

“The evidence is overwhelming that marijuana can relieve certain types of pain, nausea, vomiting and other symptoms caused by such illnesses as multiple sclerosis, cancer and AIDS - or by the harsh drugs sometimes used to treat them. And it can do so with remarkable safety. Indeed, marijuana is less toxic than many of the drugs that physicians prescribe every day.”

“Marijuana is a useful catalyst for specific optical and aural aesthetic perceptions. I apprehended the structure of certain pieces of jazz and classical music in a new manner under the influence of marijuana, and these apprehensions have remained valid in years of normal consciousness.”

“Alcohol and marijuana, if used in moderation, plus loud, usually low-class music, make stress and boredom infinitely more bearable.”

Ifs Used Class Lows Stress Alcohol Loud Boredom Plus Weed Marijuana Moderation Bearable Funny Marijuana Funny Weed

Author:Kurt Vonnegut

“I was fascinated that one could have such perceptual changes, and also that they went with a certain feeling of significance, an almost numinous feeling. I'm strongly atheist by disposition, but nonetheless when this happened, I couldn't help thinking, 'That must be what the hand of God is like.'”

Thinking Helping Feelings Hands Certain Happened Atheist Significance Weed Fascinated Marijuana Disposition Hands Of God Medical Marijuana Funny Marijuana Funny Weed Numinous

Author:Oliver Sacks

“It is beyond my comprehension that any humane person would withhold such a beneficial substance from people in such great need simply because others use it for different purposes.”

People Needs Persons Different Use Purpose Substance Weed Marijuana Beneficial Humane Comprehension Cannabis Funny Marijuana Funny Weed Great Weed Cool Marijuana

Author:Steven Gould

“I've been smoking marijuana for 44 years now, and ... I think it's a tremendous blessing.”

Thinking Years Blessing Smoking Weed Marijuana Cannabis Funny Marijuana Funny Weed

Author:Lester Grinspoon

“Instead of taking five or six of the prescriptions, I decided to go a natural route and smoke marijuana.”

Natural Five Six Decided Smoke Pot Weed Marijuana Routes Prescriptions Cannabis Hemp Medical Marijuana Smoke Weed Funny Marijuana Funny Weed Melissa Ganja Legalizing Marijuana

Author:Melissa Etheridge

Funny Marijuana Quotes

Related topics

Funny Marijuana Quotes