Quotessence
Home / Books / Give War a Chance: Eyewitness Accounts of Mankind's Struggle Against Tyranny, Injustice, and Alcohol-Free Beer

Give War a Chance: Eyewitness Accounts of Mankind's Struggle Against Tyranny, Injustice, and Alcohol-Free Beer

Book by P. J. O'Rourke · 23 quotes · Funny, Journalism, Journalist

Filter quotes by topic

AllFunnyJournalismJournalistPeopleIfsDrugHomeMenStupidStupidityWorldAmericaBabyBigsCollegeEastFamineFirstsHumorousIdeas

Give War a Chance: Eyewitness Accounts of Mankind's Struggle Against Tyranny, Injustice, and Alcohol-Free Beer Quotes

“Iraq's invasion of Kuwait is a case of bad men doing wrong things for wicked reasons. This is the full-sized or standard purebred evil and is easily recognized even by moral neophytes. Other malignities-drugs in America, famine in Africa and everything in the Middle East-are more complex. When combating those evils people sometimes have trouble deciding whom to shoot.”

PeopleMenSometimesReasonAmericaEvilMoralHistoryCasesTroubleMiddleHumourDrugStandardsComplexesIraqEastWickedMiddle EastInvasionWrong ThingsFamineBad ManKuwait
Book:Give War a Chance: Eyewitness Accounts of Mankind's Struggle Against Tyranny, Injustice, and Alcohol-Free Beer
Create image

“Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.”

PeopleIfsShouldProblemCausesLibertyTroubleSocietyIgnoranceSourceDrugTestsAnd LoveFundamentalsDrinkingAddictionGreedIllStupidityLibertarianAlcoholAlcoholicsCocaineStupid PeopleDopeWar On DrugsDrugs And AlcoholDrinking AlcoholFunny AlcoholAlcohol DrinkingDrinking FunnyIgnorant PeopleStupidity And IgnoranceContrary To Popular BeliefLust For PowerPeople StupidityDon't Drink Alcohol
Book:Give War a Chance: Eyewitness Accounts of Mankind's Struggle Against Tyranny, Injustice, and Alcohol-Free Beer
Create image

“I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've done as a 'learning experience.' It makes me feel less stupid.”

ThinkingFeelsDoneComedyStupidBehaviorStupiditySillySixtyLearning Experience
Book:Give War a Chance: Eyewitness Accounts of Mankind's Struggle Against Tyranny, Injustice, and Alcohol-Free Beer
Create image

“The second item in the liberal creed, after self-righteousness, is unaccountability. Liberals have invented whole college majors--psychology, sociology, women's studies--to prove that nothing is anybody's fault. No one is fond of taking responsibility for his actions, but consider how much you'd have to hate free will to come up with a political platform that advocates killing unborn babies but not convicted murderers. A callous pragmatist might favor abortion and capital punishment. A devout Christian would sanction neither. But it takes years of therapy to arrive at the liberal view.”

YearsSelfWholeMightActionChristianPoliticalHateViewsResponsibilityStudyPsychologyCollegeBabyProveMajorsFaultsKillingCome UpFavorsPunishmentTherapyAbortionFree WillRighteousnessPlatformsCreedsSociologyTaking ResponsibilityMurdererItemsSanctionsUnbornSelf RighteousnessCapital PunishmentCallousPragmatistsUnborn Baby
Book:Give War a Chance: Eyewitness Accounts of Mankind's Struggle Against Tyranny, Injustice, and Alcohol-Free Beer
Create image

“At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.”

ChildrenPhilosophyIllCoreMiserableUselessLiberalismSpoiledUnsatisfiedBratSpoiled Children
Book:Give War a Chance: Eyewitness Accounts of Mankind's Struggle Against Tyranny, Injustice, and Alcohol-Free Beer
Create image

“I believe that Western civilization, after some disgusting glitches, has become almost civilized. I believe it is our first duty to protect that civilization. I believe it is our second duty to improve it. I believe it is our third duty to extend it if we can.”

IfsFirstsBelieveI BelieveDutyCivilizationProtectThirdsWesternCivilizedDisgustingWestern CivilizationGlitches
Book:Give War a Chance: Eyewitness Accounts of Mankind's Struggle Against Tyranny, Injustice, and Alcohol-Free Beer
Create image

“Wealth is, for most people, the only honest and likely path to liberty. With money comes power over the world. Men are freed from drudgery, women from exploitation. Businesses can be started, homes built, communities formed, religions practiced, educations pursued. But liberals aren't very interested in such real and material freedoms. They have a more innocent - not to say toddlerlike - idea of freedom. Liberals want the freedom to put anything into their mouths, to say bad words and to expose their private parts in art museums.”

PeopleMenWorldWantArtIdeasRealHomeCommunityWealthLibertyPathHonestMaterialsMouthsBuiltInnocentMuseumsExploitationPursuedDrudgeryBad WordPrivate Parts
Book:Give War a Chance: Eyewitness Accounts of Mankind's Struggle Against Tyranny, Injustice, and Alcohol-Free Beer
Create image

“Automobiles are free of egotism, passion, prejudice and stupid ideas about where to have dinner. They are, literally, selfless. A world designed for automobiles instead of people would have wider streets, larger dining rooms, fewer stairs to climb and no smelly, dangerous subway stations.”

PeopleWorldIdeasPassionRoomsStreetsDangerousStupidPrejudiceDinnerClimbsStationsFewerSelflessEgotismStairsAutomobileSubwayDiningDining RoomsSmellyStupid Ideas
Book:Give War a Chance: Eyewitness Accounts of Mankind's Struggle Against Tyranny, Injustice, and Alcohol-Free Beer
Create image

“The day was warm and clear. Kids were playing soccer in the parking lots and women were sunning their babies and having their tea all over the lawns. The scene was entirely too cheery for journalism.”

KidsFunnyClearBabySceneWarmJournalismTeaSoccerJournalistLawnsParkingParking LotPlaying Soccer
Book:Give War a Chance: Eyewitness Accounts of Mankind's Struggle Against Tyranny, Injustice, and Alcohol-Free Beer
Create image

“Journalists aren't supposed to praise things. It's a violation of work rules almost as serious as buying drinks with our own money or absolving the CIA of something.”

FunnySeriousDrinkPraiseJournalismJournalistBuyingViolationCiaNewspapers Journalism
Book:Give War a Chance: Eyewitness Accounts of Mankind's Struggle Against Tyranny, Injustice, and Alcohol-Free Beer
Create image

“If a journalist shows a facility for praise he's liable to be offered a job in public relations or advertising and the next thing you know he's got a big office, a huge salary and is living in a fine home with a lovely wife and swell kids - another career blown to hell.”

IfsKnowsShowsHomeBigsKidsFunnyJobsNextCareersHellWifeHugeFineOfficeRelationPraiseLovelyAdvertisingJournalismJournalistSalaryFacilityLiablePublic RelationsLovely Wife
Book:Give War a Chance: Eyewitness Accounts of Mankind's Struggle Against Tyranny, Injustice, and Alcohol-Free Beer
Create image

“Moscow has changed. I was here in 1982, during the Brezhnev twilight, and things are better now. For instance, they've got litter. In 1982 there was nothing to litter with.”

FunnyChangedHumorousRussiaInstanceTwilightMoscowBetter NowBrezhnev
Book:Give War a Chance: Eyewitness Accounts of Mankind's Struggle Against Tyranny, Injustice, and Alcohol-Free Beer
Create image