“Retired is being tired twice, I've thought, first tired of working, then tired of not.”
Source: Going Like Sixty: A Lighthearted Look at the Later Years
Retirement Jokes Quotes
Browse 42 quotes about Retirement Jokes.
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Retirement Jokes Quotes
“Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf.”
“I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it three or four times a day.”
“Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I'm home - forever."”
“Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.”
“When you retire, you switch bosses - from the one who hired you to the one who married you.”
“I'm now as free as the breeze - with roughly the same income.”
“The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.”
“Sooner or later I'm going to die, but I'm not going to retire.”
“Few men of action have been able to make a graceful exit at the appropriate time.”
Source: Tread softly, for you tread on my jokes
“When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking.”
“Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.”
“I intend to live forever. So far, so good. - T-SHIRT”
Source: Fifth Grave Past the Light
“Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.”
“There's an enormous number of managers who have retired on the job.”
“The question isn't at what age I want to retire, it's at what income.”
“You know you're getting old when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.”
“There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit... Retire!”
“When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income.”
“When some people retire, it's going to be mighty hard to be able to tell the difference.”
“The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing at you.”
“Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.”