Browse 48 quotes about Funny One Liner.
“My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.”
“When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.”
“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.”
“I did not climb to the top of the food chain to eat carrots.”
“Don't take life too seriously.”
“A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.”
“The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.”
“I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.”
“A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.”
“If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.”
“Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.”
“If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?”
“I don't suffer from my insanity -- I enjoy every minute of it.”
“Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.”
“I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”
“Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.”
“If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.”
“A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.”
“To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.”
“I intend to live forever. So far, so good. - T-SHIRT”
“The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese”
“Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.”
“I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.”
“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.”
“There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot.”
“I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.”