“When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.”
Funny And Witty Quotes
Browse 33 quotes about Funny And Witty.
Funny And Witty Quotes
“You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.”
“Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.”
Source: The Wicked Wit of John F. Kennedy
“I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.”
“I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.”
“If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.”
Source: Peter's people
“I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
Source: Mark Twain on Common Sense: Timeless Advice and Words of Wisdom from America's Most-Revered Humorist
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.”
“I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.”
Source: Epigrams of Oscar Wilde
“If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.”
“Two wrongs don't make a right.”
Source: The GFG: The Guid Freendly Giant: The BFG in Scots
“Between funny and witty Falls the shadow”
Source: The Fry Chronicles: An Autobiography
“The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese”
“Always forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.”
“I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.”
“I am not afraid of death. I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
“I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.”
“A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.”
“If at first you don't succeed, then drag racing isn't for you.”
“Knowledge is realizing that the street is one way; wisdom is looking in both directions anyway.”
“Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.”
Source: Bite-Size Einstein: Quotations on Just About Everything from the Greatest Mind of the Twentieth Century