Funny Sarcastic Quotes
Browse 74 quotes about Funny Sarcastic.
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Funny Sarcastic Quotes
“I'm not addicted to cocaine. I just like the way it smells.”
“If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.”
“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.”
“Don't take life too seriously.”
“Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism.”
“I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.”
“Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.”
“Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.”
“All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.”
“Avoid using cigarettes, alcohol, and drugs as alternatives to being an interesting person.”
“Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.”
“Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.”
“I wish all teenagers can filter through songs instead of turning to drugs and alcohol.”
“Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins.”
“He must be very ignorant for he answers every question he is asked.”
“A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally.”
“I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed!”
“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”
“Our national drug is alcohol. We tend to regard the use of any other drug with special horror.”
“Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.”
“There is a great need for a sarcasm font.”
“I'm very serious about no alcohol, no drugs. Life is too beautiful.”
“I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.”
“Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?”
“Gods are fragile things, they may be killed by a whiff of science or a dose of common sense.”
“No animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness - or so good as drink.”
“I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.”
“I drink to make other people interesting.”