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Car Keys Quotes

Browse 31 quotes about Car Keys.

Car Keys Quotes

“One day, when I came home from work, I accidentally put my car key in the door of my apartment building. I turned it, and the whole building started up. So I drove it around. A policeman stopped me for going too fast. He said, "Where do you live?" I said, "Right here!" Then I drove my building onto the middle of a highway, and I ran outside, and told all of the cars to get the hell out of my driveway.”

SaidWholeHomeHumorFunnyHellDoorsMiddleCarBuildingKeysOne DayRanApartmentHighwaysPolicemenDrivewayCar Keys
Author:Steven Wright
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“Usually the beginning of a story that people hear a lot. For example, "My girlfriend is upset about her new haircut" or "My dad keeps losing his car keys." And then I just think of different ways the story could end. "My girlfriend is upset about her new haircut. I don't understand why she's crying. I'm the one who has to get a new girlfriend." Then I try it out on stage. I don't do a lot of re-writing. My jokes either work or they don't. The trick is just to write a ton of jokes.”

PeopleThinkingWayWritingTryingDifferentEndsStoriesStageCarCryExampleKeysDadLosingJokesMy DadTricksUpsetDifferent WaysGirlfriendMy GirlfriendHaircutsCar KeysNew GirlfriendNew Haircut
Author:Anthony Jeselnik
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“Even murderers, I suppose, experience the loss of car keys the way the rest of us do. I mean, how can they not? Once you make this person scramble around the house looking for her car keys and finally find them, get in the car, and run into traffic, we can identify with her enough that when she stops the car and pulls the gun out of her purse and heads in to kill somebody, we'll be with her as much as is possible.”

WayMeanPersonsEnoughRunningHouseLossCarKeysGunTrafficMurdererPursesCar Keys
Author:Alice Mattison
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“Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.”

InspirationalGivingHumorGovernmentFunnyPoliticsMoneyLibertyBoysPowerCarKeysHistoricalCorruptionLibertarianCommunismSatireLibertarianismTeenageBureaucracyGoverningWhiskeyFreedom And LibertyFreedom LibertyLimited GovernmentDemocracies HaveWhiskyLimiting GovernmentLibertarian PartyEconomic FreedomLimited FreedomMoney And PowerGreat LibertarianFunny SarcasticFunny PoliticalGovernment BureaucracyLimiting FreedomGiving MoneyGreat PoliticalCorrupt GovernmentGovernment And PoliticsGovernment PoliticsPower GovernmentCorrupt PowerCar KeysPower And CorruptionPower CorruptionMoney In PoliticsKeys To The Kingdom
Book:Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government
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“One of the things that adds tension to our lives is small frustrations. Losing car keys can give you a panic attack. Not being able to find a comb when you get out of the shower, losing scissors and nail clippers, can make you fight with your roommate. The problem is that we think that these things are not supposed to happen to us. And that's what makes us tense. We think we can avoid these frustrations by making ourselves and others be more careful. I like to take the opposite tack-to assume that these things are a part of life and that they will happen no matter what.”

ThinkingGivingMatterProblemHappensAbleLife IsFightingOur LivesCarKeysLosingOppositesNo Matter WhatAddAssumingCarefulTensionFrustrationPanicNailsShowersTenseParts Of LifeCombsRoommateScissorsPanic AttacksCar Keys
Book:Success Is the Quality of Your Journey
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“Why can't you summon a command line and search your real-world home for 'Honda car keys,' and specify rooms in your house to search instead of folders or paths in your computer's home directory? It's a crippling design flaw in the real-world interface.”

WorldRealHomeHouseLinesRoomsPathCarDesignKeysComputerCommandFlawsReal WorldInterfacesCar KeysFoldersHonda
Book:Rapture for the Geeks: When AI Outsmarts IQ
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