Funny Witty Quotes
Browse 27 quotes about Funny Witty.
Funny Witty Quotes
“I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.”
“I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.”
“If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.”
“I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.”
“Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.”
“When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.”
“Two wrongs don't make a right.”
“After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.”
“I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.”
“A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.”
“A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him.”
“He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”
“I am not afraid of death. I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
“I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.”
“A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.”
“Knowledge is realizing that the street is one way; wisdom is looking in both directions anyway.”
“Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.”
“The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.”