“My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.”
Witty One Liners Quotes
Browse 26 quotes about Witty One Liners.
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Witty One Liners Quotes
“When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.”
“I love deadlines. I like the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
“I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.”
“Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.”
Source: The Bachelor Home Companion: A Practical Guide to Keeping House Like a Pig
“If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.”
Source: Peter's people
“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.”
“Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.”
Source: Bite-Size Twain: Wit and Wisdom from the Literary Legend
“If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.”
“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”
“Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.”
“Two wrongs don't make a right.”
Source: The GFG: The Guid Freendly Giant: The BFG in Scots
“The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese”
“Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.”
“I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.”
“I am not afraid of death. I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
“A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.”
“There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot.”