Funny Parenting Quotes
Browse 96 quotes about Funny Parenting.
Related topics
Funny Parenting Quotes
“Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.”
“You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's.”
“Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.”
“As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.”
“It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't.”
“Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.”
“Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.”
“Smack your child every day. If you don't know why - he does.”
“To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.”
“Most of us become parents long before we have stopped being children.”
“Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.”
“If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders.”
“If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?”
“A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.”
“To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while.”
“The child supplies the power but the parents have to do the steering.”
“Most American children suffer too much mother and too little father.”
“Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children.”
“Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.”
“In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television.”
“To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.”
“It behooves a father to be blameless if he expects his child to be.”
“Always kiss your children goodnight, even if they're already asleep.”
“I think once you sign on to be a mother, that's the only shift they offer.”
“By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he's wrong.”