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Famous Sam Levenson Quotes
“The whole world is watching America, and America is watching TV.”
“At the U.N., any nation that fights back is censored as an "aggressor."”
“The longest word in the world is "a word from our sponsor."”
“The reason God made man before woman was that he didn't want any suggestions.”
“Give your child a spanking once a day. If you don't know why, he does.”
“What we should have fought for was representation without taxation.”
“I'm gonna put all my money into taxes. They're sure to go up.”
“You don't have to be in "Who's Who" to know what's what.”
“Never lend money to a friend. It's dangerous. It could damage his memory.”
“Learn from other people's mistakes. Life is too short to make them all yourself.”
“The beauty of America is that the average person always thinks she is above average.”
“It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and say the opposite.”
“The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.”
“Don't watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going.”
“If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.”
“The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate, is called a grandparent.”
“Just try to be happy. Unhappiness starts with wanting to be happier.”
“Happiness is a by-product. You cannot pursue it by itself.”
“Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is; we'll find it.”
“I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?”
“Siblings: children of the same parents, each of whom is perfectly normal until they get together.”
“Any kid who has two parents who are interested in him and has a houseful of books isn't poor.”